The uprising is going to be strong sounding like an erupting volcano.  There is simply no other answer and I am going to have to tell them soon.  There will be no home-baked cookies this Christmas.  I cannot imagine it myself, but the third grandchild has arrived and the truth has to be put to the light.  I eat two thirds of what is baked at Christmas- a sweet tooth passed down for several generations.  This year the goal is to have a very merry Christmas without a cookieJ  Grandma got inspired by the staircases and walking in New York City.  There was no choice.  We called it “Boot Camp in New York”.  I am already stronger for it, but here in Kentucky it is a choice and It Is Very Hard To Choose!

 

Can habits change after years of unthinking motion?  My experience is yes, but then I do the backslide and find myself right back into the old pattern.  I really don’t want to backslide this time, but many times before that also has been the case.  I have been visited in variations of the 3 ghosts at Christmas and still just temporary change.  People say it’s because I don’t care about myself or make myself a priority.  I’m really not sure, because the truth is my size and level of physical fitness has never factored in the measurement of my contentment, peace and happiness in life.  Repeated failures surprised me when I finally noticed, but rarely affected my daily state of mind.  Facebook is a great place to crop anything unseemly so the truth doesn’t have to be shown!

Here’s the deal.  A favorite scripture of mine has always been Philippians 4:13. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  Wanting to conquer the physical fitness need has been the problem.  Today I want to be successful in this.  No cookies this year and I will be honest to the core.  If it doesn’t happen, no when it does happen I think I will want to do more…………..somebody tell my husband……………….

We were banished to the kitchen.  It wasn’t her fault- it was mine.  Her favorite new job of doing grandma’s pedicure was disrupted by my knocking the polish bottle out of her hand.  This mishap created a very contemporary coral design on my otherwise beige carpet.  Papa wasn’t happy.  We tried a couple quick fixes including polish remover to no avail.  I will be googling possible answers as the local folks had no remedy.  Later that morning Papa made a comment about it and the sweet girl replied, “A lesson learned by me and grandma.”

 

Accidents happen.  They range from funny to horrific.  Two funny ones come to mind.  Once I was getting up out of my rolling office chair to greet a prospective employee and fell flat on my face in front of her.  The other one was during a very strong mother lecture I was giving one of my girls and she dumped her glass of iced tea on my new white pants.  I didn’t miss a breath- just stood up lecturing and took them off in front of her- still lecturing- went to the sink for emergency soap and cold water- and continued lecturing.  When she began to giggle I looked up and said, “Do you think this is funny?”  The lecture ended…..

In recent years I have experienced repeated head injuries.  First a large bowl fell out of the closet and hit me on the head knocking me out momentarily.  I tried to move a shelf on which a small TV sat and it fell off and hit my head. I’ve tripped several times- most recently over a steel carpet strip someone was removing in a doorway. They left it sticking up part way through the job and upon opening the door my shoe caught it and sent me flying.  The jury is still out concerning the extent of any brain damage that has occurred and my children are threatening to buy me a helmet for Christmas!

 

Then there are the accidents which are really horrific and cause people to suffer physically, emotionally, and often spiritually.  Few of us have not been touched by one in this category.  We find no humor in them.  People walk away without words of comfort in shock themselves.  I thought about people I know this morning who are accident victims.  I had the thought Jesus never had an accident.  I was reminded that on the way to the cross he fell under the weight of all he was carrying.  God had a man right there who though forced, willingly carried the cross for him the rest of the way.  God always has a way to complete our journey.  It may not be easy, but the end of His plan is always good.  Today I will keep my eyes open and by the grace of God not walk away from anyone without offering comfort. I myself have experienced deep empathy and mercy over and over again.  We can only give what we have received……………………..

My car was towed away last night.  The past two years have been challenging times for us.  My husband and I both were stressing out in a circumstance we couldn’t seem to find any answer for. There is everyone and no one to blame.  Did we overspend what our earnings were?  Yes.  Were there events or calamities that caused extra expense?  Yes.  Were our incomes affected by the overall economy?  Yes. Music is always the first to go!  Second is a school cutback in special programs. Thus both our work has been affected.  Thankfully I had been trying to negotiate with the bank to no avail and knew this was going to happen so it wasn’t a shock.

 

When I first got the car it was such a blessing.  A second vehicle made caring for my mom’s needs and spending time with her easier.  Grandchildren time increased.  No longer did we have to rent a car to take trips to see sick relatives and sadly attend several funerals of those very close to us.  The car gave my daughter freedom from stress for a couple months as she adjusted to a full time job after years of law school.  I was free to get a diet Pepsi before I started my piano lessons.  It was borrowed numerous times- I will never forget a young couple in our church took it to a wedding and came back raving about how comfortable they were in my car! Yes a book could be written about life enjoyed in my car.

 

For today the car is history and the consequences are yet to be seen.  I can tell you this. Our financial position has improved and we have solidarity in all other areas we thank God and friends for.  So am I going to let this annoy and torment me? No.  Am I looking for another car?  Yes. (One of those miracle ones that just end up parked in your driveway lol!)   Mom actually enjoys riding in the truck as she enjoys the view from higher up.  She and I getting into the truck may win America’s Funniest Home Videos!    Everything is not always as it seems and I fully expect God to honor Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  He has over and over in the journey of my life……

Many of us have so enjoyed the benefits of facebook- sharing the lives of family through pictures and messages- reconnecting with old friends-and staying connected with the busy friends we have.  Today I read something that caused me to stop and reflect.  Someone whom I had reconnected with shared something about a major trial in her life.  Since reconnecting with her months ago I never would have guessed there had ever been a problem in her life.  It really is no different than seeing people only at church or on the street and generally we are all “fine”.  My daughter insists upon a detailed explanation if I use that word with her!  There is no Utopia- even in Hawaii- everywhere a human stands there is something in their heart.  I have more than one something I meditate about how to fix on a daily basis!

I am definitely not encouraging people to use facebook as a place to vent all their pain.  There is a great deal of “too much information” and unpleasant language as well as just plain meanness that appears on my newsfeed. Today, however, I will consider more carefully what I am seeing for someone in that list of friends whose posts may seem annoying may be carrying a situation in their heart that is too heavy for them.  As in the photo above I may see the bright beautiful colors, but all they see is grey. I have found Hebrews 4:16 “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” to be my answer.  In addition unexpected acts of love always brighten my day and lighten any weights in my heart.  Today I will look for a place to spread some love around……

There is a receipt from Taco Bell dated April 2, 2011 6:00 pm.  It was for a Diet Pepsi and a Mountain Dew for the Bride and Maid of Honor-twin sisters heading for baby sister's special day.  They were scheduled to arrive at the ceremony at 6:00 pm!  Of course there had been a call to delay a little- something about the groom not having socks.  Upon arriving the wind gusted and the sweet flower girl’s petals blew out into the parking lot causing a hundred petal pick up by the bride and bridesmaids.  As everyone was lining up we looked at the banner I had spent several hours making at the brides request and in shock we saw that a letter was missing.  The Pastor’s wife sprinted to the vehicle to find the missing letter.  By now things were quite a bit behind so the bride made the decision just not to use the banner.  This of course horrified the nephew whose job it was to carry it down the isle.  Grandma stepped in and calmly smiled and said to let him carry it- no one would probably even notice it.  So “Here Comes The Bri e” was gallantly carried down the isle.  Of course we found the D right after the ceremony was over.  The really fun parts of life are often unseen- no one inside patiently waiting ever knew any of this!

 

Last week I was making a new poster for our Children’s Church honoring those who memorize the books of the Bible.  Gathering the extra letters from the wedding project I had everything I needed except a B.  I decided to borrow it from the banner which now hangs in my home office.  The next day I took the photo above while laughing- this married couple is about to have their first child- how appropriate is the banner now!  My daughter may decide she wants to keep it after allJ

There is a time and season for everything and it is NOW.  We miss so many special moments caught up in keeping schedules and having chosen responsibilities cause us to be anxious or upset.  We miss NOW when our thoughts are in the past or the future.  Today I choose to pay attention to what is happening around me as I walk, talk, read, eat, and work on my projects of the day.  I expect if I focus on the moment I may notice some petals flying in the wind or a stray letter on the ground.  If perhaps I have crossed the path of a wedding party trying to get into their ceremony I will have enjoyed the pleasure of sharing a moment that made me smile I won’t forget…

It is easy for anyone to see what makes my world go round!  Before the end of the year there will be another little one for me to love and enjoy - I am giddy just thinking about it.  This truth causes an element of jealousy in my life leading to occasional friction. I just can’t help making grandchildren the priority trumping all other requests as much as ninety percent of the time.  For ten years they have been the innocent joy, spontaneous fun, unpredictable words, and sincere and heartfelt hugs in the path of my life.  Without a doubt the old adage is true- It is a lot more fun being the grandma!

All grandmas are not like me and I have been criticized for doing too much (most often by those neglected due to their presence) with the kids.  However, I have found Planet Carol and in finding her there have been both strengths to celebrate and weaknesses to mourn.  What is not there is regret.  In all that my journey has been I wouldn’t trade it for anyone I know!  It reflects strongly my imperfections as equally as my passions.  Since there has been no one on earth perfect since Jesus walked it I feel good about being me.  That is the place I have discovered I need to be in order to be able to deal with issues in my life.  Looking in the mirror of my heart and finding I love that person is the only reason to look in the mirror on the wall and deal with the physical person I see.  Jesus loves me this I know.  What started this blog was not only that I had lost touch with who I am- but also the discovery I no longer loved myself.   It takes years for habits to become ingrained- so unlike my normal self that believes for miracles daily- in this place I know I am looking at doing some time……it’s ok…..that is all there is……………

You haven’t seen anything as horrific as or funnier than me doing a belly flop on a cement floor!  No photos this time!  I was just walking my normal walk and the toe of my sandal caught an upraised metal carpeting door strip and I flew and flopped!  Two friends and my grandson witnessed this flight and were immediately there to help.  After sitting a few minutes and having a sip of water I regained my composure and accessed there was no serious damage.  To my amazement my grandson had the strength to help me up!  Ten minutes later I was delivering a short speech from the platform of our church as we were honoring our pastor whom I have shared friendship with since college.  My daughter said I seemed “different” but no one else noticed a thing!

 

It is always the morning after in these cases.  Accessing myself then I found there was nothing that didn’t hurt!  Though I am fine, there will be more days of walking through the healing process.  Truly this is a perfect example of so many instances in our lives where it goes by so fast- we quickly process- and we run on.  Later we wake up in pain.  It might be the pain of words spoken without thinking that later cause hurt in relationship- doing a job poorly only to have to do it over- not taking time to stop and play with a child only to find him no longer a child in the blink of an eye- Not standing up for someone when they needed you only to watch them suffer when you could have helped.  Just a few of the things that happen to us all in our busy traffic patterns every day and yet we don’t change.  In the same way that my children want to buy me a helmet (this was not the first fall) I believe God would like to place speed bumps on these roads we race down to prevent us from missing so much.  His speed bumps are not sickness or trips to hurt us, but rather an urging of the Holy Spirit within us so strong we can’t ignore it is there, but we can choose to ignore to respond to it and miss a blessing.  Distraction is the main reason we miss these urgings in our heart.  In work or play I want to stay focused to hear His voice………..

On a day quite far in the future I will be someone still cute but old.  I can picture it now and there is not one doubt that I will still direct my life. Today as I write I confess for its true-even now I’m not good at doing what I am told even if it is really best for me!  I am asking God to help me to recall my mother’s laugh at eighty-one and her reaching up to kiss my cheek.  As short as I am she is still very small to me (though my family declares I am shrinking right now!).   I consider her a hope image of many things I’d like to be.  Her mother lived till 96 and I expect that she will too- another reason to rejoice in this day!

 

A call came Friday night as Mom had taken a fall, so my evening of shopping alone with the windows rolled down enjoying a gorgeous night was detoured to the emergency room.  The wait was long even though she had come in an ambulance. My sister came with dinner- it was so good and her presence brought sunshine to Mom in the moment.  Thankfully all x-rays and CT scans showed no breaks or problems.  We headed home close to midnight by way of McDonald’s for a happy meal- a favorite treat when Mom misses supper.

 

Later as I drove myself home in the middle of the night having settled Mom and tucked her in bed there was a joy that rose in my heart. Smiling and giggling alone in my car my love for Mom just consumed me. I grabbed a pen to make a few notes as I never want to forget this moment of reflecting upon sharing life with her. When I bring her four cases of Diet Pepsi, three boxes of Kleenex, and twelve rolls of toilet tissue she does a little dance of delight like a child on Christmas Day.  She always reaches out with grateful hugs for any thing I do- I realize it’s the simple things that truly make her feel secure.  Heartfelt appreciation for simple tasks done- so lacking in a world of demand!  Mom can’t remember what she had for lunch, if anyone called or came by.  However she’ll tell me the food was good, and she has been busy and having lots of fun! 

 

For many more years as I prepare to leave her home I’ll get repeated hugs, kisses and waves goodbye!  Since it’s hard to imagine what exactly I’ll be like in this far in the future day- I am writing these thoughts so I can compare my behavior with Moms- one who is a special joy in my life today………

“He’s eight.  I read an article about this.  All children are hideous at the age of eight.”  So says Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle though he has a discussion with his son after the incident. I have an eight year old grandchild and teach many eight year olds piano.  Believe me there is nothing out there for you to read to be prepared for emotions of an eight year old!   In addition if you think you know what they are thinking you may be delusional- more often than not it is not at all what we think.  It is shocking how many times I have corrected a mistake during a lesson only to be glared at by an eight year old who declares. “That is what I just played” in a grumpy smart aleck tone.  Upon convincing them of the correct way I have never received an apology without asking for it. This is Happy Music Class and I am committed to making every lesson fun.  There is no ruler slapping fingers, but I have been known to withhold a sticker or use five minutes of a lesson to teach about respect.  My attitude has changed in recent years from one of disgust that this child should know better to one with more sensitivity due to the fact I know nothing of what they experienced that day or any other!  The lack of respect and undisciplined behavior is appalling in this generation.  A photo sat on my parent’s dresser of all of the children with the scripture taped to it-

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”  Proverbs 22:6

The first half of this verse is our job- the second half is our faith.

Unsettling is putting it mildly that every eight year old has a friend at school or in the neighborhood who is dealing with divorce, has a parent in jail, knows about a family losing their car or home, and often even someone abused.  My grandson upon arriving at camp for the first time this summer announced loudly at the registration table, “My Mom is a lawyer!”  He also let them know he didn’t like the time supper was being served.  He was ridiculous in choosing his bunk complaining it was too hard.  None of this was normal behavior for “Mr. Socialite” and of course my daughter pulled him aside for a serious talk.  Then I figured it out.  He had some fears in spite of his excitement of going to camp. I handed my daughter a snack before I left them to chat longer.  He was too busy jumping off the diving board to wave goodbye when we left, but the reality check that even the safest places we have investigated thoroughly may not feel safe to a child today.  We cannot do enough to love and protect them from all we can.  They are hearing things we wish they didn’t’ so listening and helping them process is more important than ever.  If you cross the path of an eight year old today smile, hug them, make them laugh.  For most of us the world was easier to deal with when we were eight…………

It’s a home run!  Kids never consider that there won’t be one.  The excitement and anticipation of what is inevitable in their minds is more than enough to keep them involved (plus of course a hot dog!)  When was the last time I jumped for joy?  Oh, it was yesterday when I got two seven letter words in a row on my scrabble games!  Of course hearing that I was to be a grandma again would be on my “jump for joy list” this year, but the truth is if I only jump for joy when the astounding or amazing happens it is a wake-up call that I am forgetting how to play.  The countenance of a child who is not allowed to play is not a pleasant sight.  Being the transparent person that I am the same is true for me- people know when I am not taking time to play because I am not as pleasant to be around.  Being raised by a Navy Chief Petty officer meant play was earned at my house.  The chore list ruled and inspections were tiresome and sometimes fearsome!  “Will I get to play?” was the question lingering in my mind.

 

An important part of my journey this past year has been relearning to play.  I had been trained so well that I have felt guilty for playing anytime I hadn’t worked really hard to earn it.  I am amazed I still have friends who have put up with that over the years- always too busy earning the right and rarely giving myself freedom to enjoy myself even after a job well done!  People actually did avoid me at times knowing I would do my best to con them into joining me in my workaholic activities which in and of themselves were “righteous and good”.  Today I am going to play because people who love me want to interact with a happy, rested, focused person.  Everyone has their own personal issues going on so a breath of fresh air is always welcome- a reason to hope!  No one likes to be preached to, but most of us are relieved to find a place where we can relax and just enjoy life for a moment.  My hope is in God.  Thankfully His Word is “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.”  Psalm 31:24.  I can do that playing…….

Is there anyone out there having any trouble interpreting this photo?  “Tell me the way to go home…. I’m tired and I want to go to bed!”  Somehow my life has always been my living from event to event.  There have been only rare moments of looking at a blank calendar.  This is a self inflicted addiction.  I’m a holiday girl.  Give me a reason to hang a new wreath, decorate, create an invitation, or slip someone a small gift and I’m on it!  I drive people crazy because I just can’t “not make a big deal” out of everything!  At the same time they love me for it.  So this morning when I really am too tired to function the phrase my best friend and I share comes to mind.  “It’s time to turn the volume down!” The past two days I haven’t wanted to listen to the radio in the car- I needed silence.  A verified cell phone twenty-four seven junkie and I hit the off button for an hour. It was hard- Mom might need me, a daughter is pregnant, business calls!  When I turn it off it always is the moment of emergency and the horror of not being able to find me….. Yes, definitely a personal problem.

I have learned the hard way (getting sick etc…) the world can function just fine without me.  Yet I love being in the middle of it with those I love and care about. Today I see the energizer bunny running from one end of the teeter-totter to the other making it go up and down single-handedly- truly believing that it is important to keep it moving.  “What a fool am I!” and yet kind of cute and funny tooJ  Well, for today I shall give myself a break.  I wouldn’t wish this tired on anyone else so I have decided not to accept it for myself either.  When I asked the children last Sunday how many days it took God to create the earth they all said seven!  I had to repent of not teaching them clearly the example God set for us in the beginning….God created the earth in six days….and on the seventh day He rested, blessed His work, and sanctified it.  I’m just saying I going back to bed……

Towanda strikes again!  I will never forget walking up the sidewalk when my grandchildren were about three and five and finding my daughter swinging an axe. Her son also had an axe and little bit had a hammer both swinging helping Mommy tear down a metal shed in the backyard.  Thus the name “Towanda” was born.  My daughter can go for months or even years like all the rest of us with a project list somewhere around the house we plan to do “someday”.  Then out of nowhere- when you least expect it- she decides to take on the outrageous do it yourself plan.   Since the shed she has taken on other jobs including going on the roof to install air conditioners and tearing out her bathroom floor and creating a one of a kind tile floor which is really quite creative. Last week Towanda appeared again and I was sent this photo of moving the dishwasher and sink.  The stove and refrigerator will go next as this room is being changed to my granddaughters bedroom. The dining room will become a great room including the kitchen.  Having never recovered from the metal shed incident, she knows I won’t be over, but appreciates my cheering her on exchanging texts and photos.

When the project is finished she will bask in the victory of overcoming another hurdle in life.  Accomplishing something she feels very important to her family’s comfort and well being.  As a Mom I would like for things to happen a little easier.  They are a very typical hardworking American family living in a time where extras are hard to come by for all of us.  I am thankful her response is not to give up, but always believe what you really want can be possible if you take action.  Motivation is not my strongest point these days.  I stay very busy with my piano students, family, and children’s ministry yet there are other things that have remained on my project list I still have yet to attempt!  When Towanda is finished and I go and see the new rooms perhaps I will gain courage to take a step of my own…………..

I have a story to tell.  Some of you are already laughing.  Everyone who knows me prepares themselves to hear a story whenever I appear.  Most of them are pretty interesting and entertaining.  Some are shocking.  I don’t consider any of them irrelevant as they always seem to touch a spot somewhere in the listeners own experiences of life.  On the downside I can be long- winded as one of my daughters will often say, “Get to the point, Mom!”  However, the truth is I have a story to tell that hasn’t been told.  The hesitation to tell it is related to what affect that it might have on the characters.  Though I would certainly not consider myself a private person, I am sensitive and empathetic to the feelings others causing me to not reveal details which makes some of my writing vague to you the reader.  (For all you speculators out there my marriage is in better shape than most people I know!)

I just finished reading “The Help” which is now a movie.  I can honestly say no book has ever impacted me like this one.  Just as the movie “Julie and Julia” inspires us to blog, this book has inspired me to write my story. My story will address completely different facts, but as “The Help” shocking truth.  What we don’t talk about may in fact hold the keys to freedom for many of us. However, sometimes remaining bound in ignorance is more comfortable.   Another excuse is “Problem Pile Up”- a common term these days.  It is exhausting to sort through everything happening to us and attempt to organize ourselves. Actually addressing one or two of our problems to find a solution can be overwhelming!  I have had hour long conversations with family, friends, and newer acquaintances this week that are all stuck in the middle of their problems like a mouse in a maze who can’t find his way out.  With all that going on it is easy to cast aside the story of the deeper issues which have been the most challenging for us to face!  If we do when the story is shared there will be reactions and a price to be paid.  Today I continue to write “Glimpses in My Journey” that I feel are so important to validate. Experiences God meant for us to enjoy, learn from, and feel good about.  For everything there is a time, a season, and then comes change……

After descending the 75 step spiral staircase I knew I was in trouble.  I was sure the brochure mentioned something about 50 steps.  The trail ahead was full of steps!  It was the final day of Grandma Camp and I wanted the day to be perfect. However, my granddaughter was in a skirt and we were both wearing flip-flops- such great preparation for a cave hike!  Retreat was not an option and our early tour was with just one other family so it was very relaxed.  My grandson took the lead with the guide and was in heaven learning some new things, but of course also discussing his knowledge of the cave creating equality between the guide and himselfJ.  My granddaughter was more cautious and early on noticed my slowness to bring up the rear. 

The cave was beautiful and interesting so it was easy to distract her away from my struggle in the beginning, but when she hollered out, “Slow down, grandma needs a minute!” the truth was clear to all.  Thankfully no one commented.  About fifteen minutes later the sixth staircase of 20 or so steps appeared. I consulted the guide about exactly how far we were into our journey.  He assured me we were close to the end and then would simply retrace the path.  I climbed the last twenty steps finding myself on a small bridge with a river rushing under my feet. A short distance away a beautiful small waterfall appeared.  My favorite thing- a photo spot! 

Finally we turned back.  I didn’t voice any concern, but then I heard-“Hey you guys, wait for grandma!”  Soon after the guide announced the lights were going to be turned off and we would experience total darkness.  When the switch was hit immediately my grandson was hollering “I can see!  I can see!”  The guide patiently explained that his eyes were trying to find light and that causes some people to see flashes while their eyes adjust.  My granddaughter, clinging to me tightly, clearly stated at least five times, “I can’t see anything.  Turn the lights back on.” 

It was soon over.  Everyone disappeared up the staircase except for the guide, my granddaughter and I.  I offered to let the guide go ahead since it would take me longer, but of course he had to be last.  We started up.  It wound so closely you couldn’t see more than three steps ahead of you.  At ten steps I was already deep breathing and took a break. I started stopping a moment probably every six steps or so. My breathing became so obvious my granddaughter asked if I was going to have a heart attack.  I assured her I would make it fine- just slowly.  Then we heard my grandson yelling from somewhere above us, “Come on you guys- there are a lot more steps!”  After a couple more stops he hollered the same thing again.  I spoke to the guide behind me whom I couldn’t see, “We are at least half way, right?”  He assured me we were and thus the journey went slowly to the top, with grandson hollering down and granddaughter all but attempting to carry me! 

Upon reaching the final step the guide appeared behind me.  I had enough strength to say "chair" which he graciously led me to. I sent the kids to get our water bottles in the car.  We sat for twenty minutes until I was breathing normal and laughing.  It was a great time overall and a beautiful adventure drive home using unfamiliar roads to reach the city.  When we met up with my daughter I simply said, “Sweetheart your Mom has a very healthy heart.  I passed my stress test today.”

Young children have been my focus and captured my heart for many years.  As a children’s minister, school teacher, piano teacher, camp leader and most recently a grandmother these little minds never cease to amaze me.  It makes me cringe to remember times I was not tuned in and operated like a sergeant rather than a teacher.  Along the way I did learn some things: 

1. Children are real people who deserve love and respect.
2. Children always know more than you think they do about whatever is happening around them.
3. A child’s spirit and zest for life can easily be broken if mistreated and when it is the repair is difficult.
4. Children need to be heard.  If we don’t take time to listen to them they will either hibernate within themselves or find someone to listen whose response may harden their hearts rather than nurture them lovingly. 

I am concerned about our children.  As the nation cries for improvements in the Education System I cry for the children in the classroom.  My concern is illustrated well in a children’s book “All Because a Little Bug went Ker-choo!”  The bug sneezes and that blows a leaf.  The leaf hits a frog causing him to jump out of the water which causes a stone to fly…in the end there is a parade that ends in humorous disaster all because a little bug went ker-choo!   Pressure for performance from the top is being passed down through all the chains of command to the degree that by the time it reaches the classroom the teachers are so stressed they can no longer afford to nurture our children.  Get to know them personally.  Respect them as individuals who are unique in their strengths and weaknesses.  The focus is on making the goal no matter what and in less than two weeks of school even the teacher who desires to help all children has already labeled the children in their class who are seen as a liability in achieving their academic goals. 

As I look around I must say we are losing something very important in setting idyllic goals and often unreasonable expectations. It is called respect for the human being.  Respect means we are willing to engage in a relationship with another person (including a child) and build confidence and positive self esteem by encouraging one another in our strengths.  Yes we have the possibility of inventing the newest technology, but also and more importantly, there is an opportunity for each of us to take our place in a love starved society and truly care about someone.   Everywhere you go now you see the word simple.  Everyone is craving simplicity.  Here it is:  See the child.  Hear the child. Love the Child.  That will teach the child the most important thing they need to know- I am special.

The beautiful quilt my grandmother gave me while in collage is now frayed showing the wear and tear of regular use over the years.  At the end of most busy days you will find me wrapped under it on the couch reading. I am still comforted by it’s warmth in pink, green, and white hues which match nothing I own!  While savoring this moment my husband comes in and sticks a Roma tomato in my face.  Slightly irritated I look up and see a glimmer of tear in his eye.  “It’s a tomato” I said.  “Yes’ he replied, “But not just any tomato.  Today our grandson came to me when we arrived at his house after school holding both hands out each holding a Roma tomato.  He said, “You pick one Papa.  I want you to have it.”  I realized they were from his first garden tended completely on his own.  I couldn’t choose so he handed me the biggest!”  We have the tomato pictured above on the kitchen window sill- I don’t know if we will ever eat it!

The true value of a thing is very personal.  Quilters would scold me and say you have ruined a valuable work of art that is probably worth a good price.  Yes, it has been a gift of love that was given to me which I have kept close by my side. As the commercial says, "It is priceless.”  Tomatoes are eaten by the millions every day without a thought, but none of them were grown by our 10 year old grandson who will carry on a love of gardening that started with helping Papa as a toddler.  Gratitude:  thankful appreciation for favors received.  Feeling alone, unappreciated, taken for granted, overwhelmed?  Look around, perhaps in your house you will find a memory of a moment when someone truly cared or looked up to you.  Whether you do come away empty handed (which I sincerely doubt you will) or not- join me as I open the front door and walk outside gazing at the sky and feeling the warm breeze ripple through my hair.  Repeat after me:   “You are the God who sees me!  Genesis 16:13”.   There is nothing like gratitude to change your outlook on life!

Ending the summer with a very special field trip at “Grandma Camp” was very important to me.  I had planned, budgeted what we could do, and we were packed and ready to go!  After “take off” my grandson read out loud in the car and my granddaughter worked on the balloon flip-flops she was making for her mother and aunt’s upcoming twin birthday.  I had received some calls that distracted my thoughts in and out but was overall focused on the kids.  At the Exit for our destination I stopped to put in the ten dollars budgeted for gas.  My grandson continued reading out loud and a flip flop was passed out the window for me to make an adjustment. My thoughts were distracting me as well.  After several minutes the reading stopped and I heard, “Grandma, did you mean to spend that much money on gas?” Then the gas hose clicked and stopped pumping.  I was paralyzed momentarily by the reality of what just happened.  I filled the tank.  I couldn’t put it back on the shelf- I couldn’t hit delete and start over!  Hiding my worry I just placed the hose on the rack and screwed the gas cap on but continued to stand there.  The money for our day trip plus a few groceries and plans for the weekend were now in my gas tank!  I called a friend for encouragement who expressed how terrible it was, but at the same time couldn’t stop laughing.

Gas prices are not a laughing matter for any of us right now.  I have no friends who are not impacted by the reality of our economy and now another disaster Irene causes mayhem for millions on our East Coast.  Nevertheless we remain human in the midst of the circumstances that surround us- prone to making errors that have a greater impact on our lives than they used to.  No emotion is helpful when the error happens.  Anger- beating yourself up for being so stupid- fear of the consequences- remorse for messing up something special- so I decided the friend was right- laughing was the best remedy to save this day.  Forward motion is all I know- grandmas don’t retreat!  The budget went to survival only spending, but in the end they never knew and we had a great time anyway.  We grilled hot dogs over the weekend and needed no gas.  There will no doubt be more than one opportunity every day of our lives that will stare us in the face as the total at the gas pump did me.  In that moment I pray you will call the friend who will help you laugh and remind you that no matter what happens we can choose joy and have faith that the God who has always seen us through is still here!

Starting the 3^rd cup of coffee and the caffeine still hasn’t kicked in.  A thousand things to do and I can’t seem to get started on one!  My mind is blocking out all reality and I stand there in my “empty box” -a term I learned describing a man on the couch- certainly not Planet Carol!  Recognizing I am in the empty box brings on action and for me there is no other choice.  Where is it?  Not in the office stack or on top of the television so I must get on my knees without spilling the coffee (I can’t seem to give up even for a moment) and dig through the cupboard of DVD’s.  There it is.  Seeing the cover brings hope and I  find the strength to get off the floor, take out the disc, put it in, hit play and press volume up about 6 times.  As soon as the first sound rings in my ears my thoughts begin to organize and by the second scene I am dressed and in action!  My day is moving even better than I could have hoped for.  “White Christmas”.   It is a “White Christmas” day on the rainy, muggy, air alert pollution warning, and heat index  expected over 105 August Wednesday.   For years I have rescued myself from many otherwise dreary days with the movie “White Christmas”.  It has given the energy for housework, paperwork, clutter removal, finishing the project that has been undone for months, and by the end of the movie there is a clear image of completed tasks around me and I am smiling!

I have often shared this discovery when talking to family or friends that need a “White Christmas” day.  Singing and dancing is not for everyone, so it may take a little research to see what causes your emotions to lift.  That is where the battle begins almost every time.  Our emotions are restricting our mind and body from normal functioning.   The movie “White Christmas” always makes me smile and feel good.  Every time I watch it the same adrenaline flows through my veins.  The realization of that is why I go there.  Those of you that know me are probably thinking this sounds very non-spiritual- why not Praise and Worship Music?  The answer is that Praise and Worship music draws me spiritually and though I love it I can’t help being drawn in and so then I have a day of sharing with the Lord which is perfect, but all the things I need to do are still sitting undone!  We are individuals who make choices every day and we make too many of them to appease or impress others rather than follow our true selves.  When we find things that help us along and improve our outlook for any given moment we need to jot that in our memory to bring out of the closet when needed.  I say thank God for whatever works!  

Drinking my first cup of coffee with my eyes still sleepy I googled blackberry.   “Grandma Camp” had been to Huber Farms to pick blackberries and I was expecting two happy campers within the hour ready to tackle jam, pie, and cobblers!  My computer screen responded with a thousand hits on different phones!  When did this fresh delicious fruit loose its name to a phone??   I’ve picked blackberries since I was old enough to walk and hold my own pail.  They stain your hands purple, but oh the cobblers during that season make your mouth water just thinking about them.  The ones we picked were in empty fields growing wild….a sweet delight hidden among overgrown grasses, weeds, and under the trees.  I believe God enjoyed watching us find the blackberries He had hidden there just as parents would watch their kids look for hidden eggs at Easter!  When I hear the word blackberry I will stay true and crave the taste of a fresh picked one before I think of a phone!

Planet Carol loves the experience of life.  I gave in to the cell phone and now am proudly an addict as I love sharing the moments of life as they happen with family or being readily available to encourage a friend.  At the same time I am working on sensitivity to the moment.  When everyone in the car is on the phone we miss developing relationships.  The elderly can’t get a word in and often feel left out.  Yesterday I got lost.  This is not a new thing and having a phone is helpful.  Even so I diffused the worry of my precious passengers by referring to the moment as our adventure ride!  We ended up taking pictures of cornfields.  My granddaughter was mesmerized by a field of wild flowers and saw a purple one she had never seen before.  I pulled over and her brother jumped out and picked her some.  We discovered a well.  Older homes with lots of character were described as doll houses and huge modern homes Barbie houses!  I was sad to have to get directions to the interstate before I ran out of gas knowing the adventure would end.  Technology has taken over and moving so fast I know that I will never keep up.  However I am a living being surrounded by gifts of creation.  I never want to wake up one day and find my best friend is a machine that has never tasted a blackberry!

Only in America do we have the hurry- hurry- hurry- rush and wait syndrome.  I used to promote such unhealthy behavior and must apologize to some for pushing too hard.  Digging deeper inside the core of Planet Carol has caused me to try slowing the pace so that I can live with quality memories rather than try to remember what I did!  Sometimes it works.

Recently however, I was up early gathering stuff for Mom, lunch for my grandchildren’s Grandma Camp outing, packages to be mailed, and a few other odds and ends on the errand list.  I was hurrying.  Upon finishing my task of loading everything into the car I checked for phone, keys, sunglasses, drink.  All ready I checked to make sure the door was locked, went quickly down the steps, got in the car and shut the door.  I was sitting in the passenger seat.

There are lots of reactions one might have finding themselves in such a ridiculous position.  I sat there and laughed at myself.  “I can’t believe I just did this!”  “Am I ok?”  “How healthy is my present level of rotation in this planet?”  “Is there anyone anywhere who has done this before me or am I one of a kind?”  Then another thought came.  I realized the anxiousness of not doing everything perfect was still trying to rule my thoughts.  All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.  Our pastor has been preaching "I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ".  I realized that in addition I am not ashamed I need the gospel of Christ.  I got out of the car to get into the passenger seat knowing one of the 4 angels assigned to my car stood at the driver’s door smiling as I said, “You go first Lord.”……

It is eleven thirty Sunday morning and these men are at church.   Literally!  Below them there is children’s ministry and a worship service going on, but there is also a service on the roof!  One that requires sacrifice, sweat, and hard work, but reaps the blessing of spending time together at God’s house!

Jesus said, “My father’s house is a house of prayer”.  He healed the sick on the Sabbath.  Man has the option of defining what their church looks like.  Church by definition is the building where we assemble.  However only God can define what is true worship- for it comes from the heart.   I love the simple verse in Ecclesiastes 2:26:  “To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness.”

This universe is changing. As I roam these days I am seeing the importance of looking for what God sees more than ever before.  Planet Carol will always be repairing and adjusting but it is not I but Jesus in me I want you to see…….

Summer rains are unique.  Thunder is louder, lightening is sharper, yet somehow they are more calming than rain any other time of year.  What I truly love the best is the earth’s response immediately after the summer rain.  Trees shake themselves like a puppy after a bath.  Plants stand taller and the colors are more brilliant. The grass seems longer like the rain brought instant growth!  I cannot help but think about the intricacy of God’s plan in caring for the earth.

I have a friend who makes beautiful baskets.  When she is done there is no doubt a feeling of both fulfillment and protection.  Where they are displayed will be a safe place.  A child cries when their beautiful creation is torn or ruined (or purposely knocked over by a sibling or friend).  My grandchildren were like hawks circling the strawberry jam they were making watching the clock and reminding me when it was time for the next step.  They wanted to separate their own jars in the freezerJ.  It is part of our nature to protect what is ours.

Perhaps if you have read this far you think I am rambling today.  Actually I have a thought.  Whatever I do today I pray that it feels loving to those who interact with me. I pray they feel the presence of a caring God around me.  I am His creation still in process so perfection will not describe me today.  Sincere love, patience, and empathy however are a few of the gifts of God to me that can appear to you….may it be so!

PS:  Next time it rains this summer go ahead- go outside and let it refresh you- after all we are part of the creation so it is meant for us too!!!

For a full 30 seconds the world stopped as the blend of the fresh picked strawberries and vanilla bean ice cream settled upon my daughter, husband, and my taste buds.  The fresh first fruit of the plants are not in any way comparable to “store fresh”!   We have all grown accustomed to running in and picking something “off the shelf” we no longer expect and in many cases don’t even remember the taste off a fruit or vegetable off the vine as God created it to be.  I am not a vegetarian or health nut in any way, but I do so appreciate anything fresh.  A friend and I were traveling once and stayed in the home of a lady who had just picked corn out of her garden.  My friend ate at least 10 ears she was in such fresh corn heaven!

It is interesting to me that God meant for all of life to be like that.  Moments of refreshing.   Not only did He provide it in food, but also for our minds and spirits.  The moment we understand something that has confused us there is refreshing.  Regularly I have moments just between the Lord and I where I understand what He is saying to me and feel His presence- refreshing!   Corporately as worship takes place during song, prayer or teaching we are refreshed as we experience God and share together.

Today I will look for the refreshments God has for me in the traffic pattern of my day…..