Yawning a lot this week so I am wondering- am I tired? No real reason for that. Perhaps I just need more air! Definitely not bored- but then again we can be really busy and still be bored. Sometimes there are days that I feel that I am in a coma and though I am participating in life it feels like I am just watching it from a distance. Splashing cold water on my face or standing on the porch in my pajamas in 30 degrees can be helpful, but I take this comatose state seriously knowing that if I don’t find a way out it will lead to depression or unintended mishaps in my day. It has occurred to me when my planet stalled this past year that I have more decision making power about what will happen in my day than I was operating in. The weakness that overtook me while fighting the collisions in my universe caused me to give up and believe the lie that I just might not make it through.

As I review the year I realize that I was never alone. The Lord was always there. So were friends and family and empathetic colleagues. In every situation, every day I had a choice to make. Receive the love and support or stay a close distance away and suffer alone. Deciding I needed help was the best decision of my life. It is freeing to know that you are not alone. It is amazing to find how many others are suffering the same hurts and frustrations that you have. What is it about the American “John Wayne” image- of the famous song-“I Did It My Way” that makes us think accomplishment is only true when we do it alone. Jesus surrounded himself with disciples on the earth knowing that the salvation He was to die for would only be received as people shared the experience. Today I will reach out in life and share an experience with someone and just maybe I’ll notice I’m no longer yawning but rejuvenated…………………..