Physical and emotional fatigue hits us both in the good times and the bad times. It is a fact that every human body faces. Every day on face book some friend will talk about exhaustion- reaching out for an encouraging word- a reason to stay in the race they have chosen to run- the desire to give up is overwhelmingly looming over this decade. I am the optimist in the family and over and over in my life have refused to give up or perhaps more accurately give in to whatever “doom” was trying to take over our lives. Though that be true, there are areas where I have given up over and over. Someone asked me once what my worst dream was and I replied, “Dying and waking up in heaven fat”.

Everyone has their personal challenges to fight or ignore. I am a fighter and that is both strength and a weakness- Planet Carol fought herself into a point of exhaustion that took her breath away. The punch came in and I was knocked out still on the floor when the referee stopped counting. I came to bewildered and unsure about what hit me and saw stars for weeks afterwards as I tried to get my bearings to go on. This punch wasn’t physical, but it felt every bit as physical as if I had been in the boxing ring!

For me it has been easier and more gratifying to give grace than to receive it for myself. It has also been an area of pride that I see a need to repent of- thinking I didn’t need grace when I was the neediest mess around! Unaware that I thought I had it all together- the leader of the pack, when the pack was looking at me hoping I would seek help! When I did there was this flow of relief from those around me that quite frankly shocked me. How can we have such a distorted picture of who we really are and be so blind to what we really need? For me the answer lies in relationship error and I am being freed as I submit myself to repairs. I’ve checked into the Spiritual Maintenance 101 and am allowing the Holy Spirit to make repairs in my heart. Looking more closely and listening to the ones I love with ears to really hear what they have to say. Facing the photos that depict the truth and finding peace in the midst of who I really am rather than who I think or thought I was.

Yesterday my granddaughter was squeezing my fingers one at a time. Giggling, she looked up at me and said, “Grandma, you have very squishy fingers.” Tickling all grandmas’ squishy parts ensued! Children tell it as they see it. They also tell it with unconditional love- for at any moment she felt my feelings were hurt she was quick to hug and reassure me I was her perfect grandma. For all the sputtering planets out there I just want to say there are orbits to connect to that will put us back on track. I will seek the Lord with all my heart-focused energy-and purposeful thoughts and lean not to mine own understanding (of which I don’t have any of anyway) and in everything I do I will look to Lord and know that He will be faithful to me and direct my path as I keep my eyes on Him (Proverbs 3:5-6 Planet Carol Version)......