12.16.09

Where is my heart? Struggling with all it’s might to pump life into me. For it is the place Jesus speaks to me daily through the Holy Spirit. It gets lost in the flesh- on a roller coaster ride to reach my ears and open my eyes. My heart sees a window to speak when I sit down at the piano to worship and it pumps into me strength and joy. As a result My eyes are open to see His Word- see my path clearly- and I take steps with Jesus that are sure, fulfilling, comforting, humbling, and fruitful.

“Bless my heart” though, for so easily I am distracted. I find usefulness in busyness. It is all really good stuff mind you- stuff Jesus likes. But the busier I become the more I bury my heart down deep inside somewhere to save for when I have some time. It is gasping for air, but will not be suffocated. It is squeezed into a place that cannot contain its fullness, but is too strong to pop and be destroyed. It stays alert for an opening to jump out and pull me back inside once again. When I respond to my heart there is perspective, peace, wisdom, contentment, and the intimacy of relationship that completes me. All the things the world is so hungry for- I am so hungry for- right here deep inside me- easily accessible- and yet I get distracted? I am so not like God and without Him truly I am the most shallow person on the earth. Good grief Charlie Brown, what is the matter with me.........