A young friend of mine quoted Robert Heinlein to me the other day and it has consumed my thoughts ever since. The quote: “In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it”

This thought has propelled me into lesson two on “Stop”. In lesson one a few days ago I referred to my need to stop and consider my physical condition needing improvement. Secondly I saw my need to stop and assess the affects of poor decisions or unforeseen circumstances in my life. The quote above leads me to add a number three. What am I enslaved by? This may come as a shock to those who know me (lol) but I have discovered on my journey that I am an enabler. Planet Carol has not fully accepted this fact but I am working through what is called the confusing profile of an enabler- the blending of saintly martyr, victim and superhero. I still bristle at the fact that perhaps I have not always been honest about my true feelings in order to ward off confrontations and keep everyone happy. The most interesting part is that others observed this about me long ago, but I never recognized it myself. When my daughter asked me where is planet Carol I gave her the first truly honest answer I had ever given her- I don’t know! Today because I have begun to clearly define my goals I can say Planet Carol is on a journey to become someone not only others will benefit from (important to an enabler, oh dear), but a journey that brings true satisfaction to my heart. I am allowing myself to enjoy a personal relationship with God and to spend time doing things that I truly love to do. Most importantly I am stepping back from always saying yes. The incredible result of this is that what I do say yes to is yielding better results.

Being honest is the goal today. I have always thought I was merciful and loving “bending the truth”. I also was deceived in my thinking that honesty would lead to hurts or confrontations. I am discovering to be truly honest is really very sensitive and loving. I am watching others have an opportunity to be the superhero and me the joy of cheering them on (the new me pictured above at a party I would  formerly have felt responsible to stay busy so others could enjoy). Planet Carol has a choice no matter how difficult life may be- so today I will begin monitoring even more closely what and why am I choosing to……………….