Ok. It’s time to end the Stop, Drop and Roll Class so I offer my friends the final chapter. The subject today is Roll. The pony above was a guest at Vacation Bible School this summer. He has been instructed to choose the ball from a few items on the ground. Look closely- it that really a ball? He thinks it is and agreement comes from the clapping of the crowd watching. Close inspection however quickly lets us know that there are problems with this ball that will keep it from rolling smoothly- a handle he uses to pick it up. None of us would choose this ball to play with as it obviously isn’t going to roll like a “real” ball is designed to do. As I have stopped to look closely at myself this past year I have discovered there are things attached to me that keep me from rolling out of the flames and into places that are available to enhance my life. Others watching me noticed those things and offered suggestions. God tried to stop me and make corrections- but I did not respond.


Planets are round. Some have fancy circles and colors. So, if we view Saturn and see a handle coming off the side like the pony’s ball above, it would be on the news! Everyone would see the obvious- something not normal was happening- and fear of possible repercussions on earth would spread.

There is only one way to roll- be perfectly round. And there is only one way to get there- Let God mold you. I am finding whenever I stop and spend time on the Potter’s wheel, drop all resistance to His work being done in me, only then can He toss me into my place and the rolling leads me to places that are fun! I relate to Isaiah 55:12-“You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.” Now I truly am the smooth ball hitting its mark that everyone wants to play with……

“What age do you start a child on piano?” is a common question for me to answer. “Am I too old to learn piano?” comes in at a close 2nd. As in most things in life there is not a blanket answer, but my business is called “Happy Music Class” because as a teacher I have but one goal- that every student has a happy experience every lesson. A four year old can enjoy the exploration of the instrument and build a very solid foundation for future performance. Someone 65 can learn enough to play the “old songs” they love so much. In between there is a myriad of students- few who will go on to be concert artists, but many who will play for church, family, and themselves bringing smiles, hope, encouragement, and just plain good old fun to the listeners!


The paragraph above seemed unique to my business until this past year when I became the explorer and listener in my own life. I’ve reviewed a lot about my life and found that what was planted in my mind and heart at a young age has remained with me, but new interests and undeveloped talents still pop out today begging to be taught. Matthew 7:8 declares, “For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” It is I who choose to rust or shine as Planet Carol. So I will stop and ask; drop and seek; and knock on Jesus door as I roll around putting the fire out!  It’s invigorating at any age to learn………

Ever try carrying something a bit too large or heavy for you to handle? The photo pictures determination at it’s best, but there is no doubt this drink will either be intercepted by an adult nearby or crash and spill at some point, even though he’s got it at the moment. Working with children is so funny because “they can do it” or “they already know how to do it” or “I’ve got this” and for the moment they truly do. However, usually in a short period of time the realization that you may have a better idea or that they may actually need to learn something new dawns. The hunger to discover overrides the arrogance of youth until that is mastered and then the cycle repeats itself.

Rare is the adult who is truly teachable until circumstances force a lesson. Someone said the other day they needed to hire someone willing to take instruction in stride without defense or bristling. I quickly replied I wasn’t that mature! We say we really want to learn. We even listen and take notes. But more often than not actually putting the new wisdom into practice immediately is sadly the rare exception. For some reason we are more apt to learn over time- after stumbling many times and hearing the same lesson repeated. In Luke chapter one Mary declares to the angel, “Behold he handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word”. In the same chapter she shares her rejoicing in the Lord who has given her the task of bearing God’s Son! I can hear the sarcastic remarks even from Christians who claim to believe the Bible to be God’s Word.- “If God sends an angel maybe I would respond in faith, but get real- who is going to believe I’m pregnant without a man. My life is over at 16! I don’t want to be pregnant anyway!  Come on- God wouldn’t ask me to do this!”

Fear of not being able to carry the burden is the primary reason I have not received many things that actually would have blessed me. Secondly I really don’t want to be bothered with spiritual responsibilities- I’ve got more on earth to deal with than I can handle right now. I see clearly that I have been more comfortable being on fire than submitting my life to the call of God in my heart- I refused to attend the Stop, Drop and Roll class over and over fearing that knowledge would require me to act outside my “comfort zone”. Unbelievable really. The one who plays “I Surrender All” regularly at the piano has found out I surrender when I’m comfortable. When I go for the McDonalds cup pictured above there will be tears and screaming- that cute grandson wants that drink. God won’t grab my drink out of my hand. He will simply stand there offering to take it. It will be my choice to allow Him to be in all the details of my life………………….

Making a choice is an intriguing subject to study in humanity. As in all areas of life there are innumerable ways of going about it. I have been blessed with some very expensive purses as gifts that my daughters drool over and one of their friends even said “you know what you are carrying don’t you?” They are like cars to me- I only know I like the color, comfort as I carry purse/drive car, and the right amount of space to meet my daily routines. Visiting my granddaughter’s classroom didn’t involve comparing work displayed, whatever had her name on it was my choice for most wonderful! Age definitely changes our perspective on choices. I had a scrunchie in my hair when my daughter dropped by the other day and she threatened me if I wore it out of the house. Didn’t I know those were no longer in fashion?????

As I have been meditating on Planet Carol’s need to Stop, Drop, and Roll it has opened up a truth about me that I would have fought hard in the past to defend myself and say it was a lie. The truth? There are a lot of things I have chosen not to care about. That may sound lame to you, but for someone who believes that they care about everybody and everything…. lives life to be sure that all works well around you…..believes they are God’s right hand helping to keep it right…..convinced your heart is pure- even say “I don’t care what you think- I know my heart before God!” Well, I have discovered a good heart can be dead wrong. Most of my “drops” in life I discussed yesterday were the result of bad choices made with a good heart. Made with a heart limited to the knowledge and experience it had already gained. Somewhere on the journey I quit upgrading ignorant of the fact that just maintaining what I had severely limited my ability to make good choices. I saw myself using a scrub-board down at the creek to wash my clothes unaware that the washing machine was available!

Granted purses, cars, and artwork are choices that really don’t matter. But to choose to work instead of facing hurts, Television instead of talking to friends and family, food instead of seeking God, shopping (without checking the account) instead of exercise, and on the list goes bringing this result: Disconnected. Instead of being the “caring person” I was a lost person. In some of those places I was actually running away! Recently I have made a decision to stop and drop just to dig deep into my injured heart and pull out what really matters to me. I am young and know that it is never too late for God to work in me if I choose to allow Him to make adjustments. They aren’t painless or easy to get used to, but in the end we are really the person we think we are.

“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

In the beginning there was the happy little couple setting up house combining all their possessions and bending over backwards to make each other happy- even if it meant giving up a favorite chair or lamp. Life was shared and problems and projects were always attacked together- life was pretty much always fun. Along came a new job, baby number one and why not- when he is one month old lets move across the country and start a new adventure! The first major crisis I remember was the baby crying and my hubby yelling for me to grab the other end of the couch and help him carry it up a flight of stairs!


Today I have decided to dwell on what does the drop in “Stop, Drop, and Roll” truly mean to Planet Carol when I find myself in flames? Here are a few things it has meant over the years: collapse, spending a week or two in bed fighting illness, yelling at both the guilty and the innocent around me- packing a suitcase and leaving alone for a few days- long walks in the middle of the night-and lots of cold creamy ice cream too soothe the burns!

Somewhere through the years a new “drop” evolved- in this drop others would see me on fire and run spraying me with encouraging words, temporarily give me space, wrap me up with a little extra love and then I would come up with my brilliant recovery plan- get busy! Work more! Take on extra projects! Busyness camouflaged the pain of the burn.

When I began to blog I had discovered that in my years of busyness I had not healed and no longer had the strength physically to stay busy. Pain emerged. All the ice cream in the city couldn’t soothe it anymore. It was time to drop my useless coping activities and find the truth. Just like our beautiful front porch (designed and built by hubby mentioned above) sported beautiful light fixtures for a couple of years that were only seen in the daylight. People thought they were so great having no idea they didn’t work. Then last week the lights actually came on! To drop something is to find the way to get the lights working and repent- to realize that what I have been doing has not brought the result I have tried very hard to rationalize it was ( I could look very together in the daylight!). I needed to drop the busyness and move on toward what is real. Jesus is the only way from darkness into light. Casting my busyness at His feet was very humbling for me to do- after all I had been His star student for so long…not……but God looked upon my heart with mercy and love and I am finding being His is all I need- not the stardom.

Mom is 80! My sister and I have been planning for weeks to make things very special for this birthday and it turned out perfect. There was lots of fun and laughter. Nearing the end of a week-long celebration- just about the time we thought about how perfect “we had” done everything- something happened. As we were leaving PF Changs where Mom had enjoyed her favorite Maui Maui Fish Dinner my sister strongly suggested I walk directly in front of her. Confused, I just said ok and my Mom started laughing. When we got outside I was appalled to find there was a rip in my favorite jeans. As you can see pictured above it wasn’t a rip- it was a 10 inch tear! I never heard it rip, felt it rip, felt air seeping through the opening or felt anything funny while sitting. No telling how many people were entertained by my outfit that day- it is very popular fashion for the young, but obviously accidental on me!

Recalling this moment has caused me to meditate on how many times in life have I been the “queen bee” fluttering to and fro directing the party or event feeling just great about myself, but never stopping to see what others were seeing. There is nothing bad about that, because often what others are laughing about or sitting dully about while others are laughing has nothing to do with me and should not affect my self esteem. The point is that if I never stop to check myself it is possible others are observing something about me I am completely unaware of that may or may not be desirable. It may be something that has crept in that I never saw, heard, or felt and yet there it is- the 10 inch rip! Taking time to stop and check ourselves is a luxury we (busy Moms especially) feel we can’t afford. I see now it is a choice. Not spending time alone considering who I am and if I am truly the person I think I am is a prime reason for function failure on Planet Carol. As I choose to consider these things I am finding that many of the answers are not what I thought they were. Facing them head on is hard, but I live in greater peace and satisfaction the more honest I am with myself and others. I have been off ice cream for a couple months, but messed up on the all sugar fast when a mini crisis came yesterday and I ate the last piece of Mom’s birthday cake I had so carefully avoided. That was followed up with a couple slices of heavenly banana bread. Truth. Perfection is a goal that Jesus set before us, but I for one am more aware there will always be bumps in the pursuit. Its ok- we are normal. Those of you taking the Stop Drop and Roll Course along with me- We can choose to stop - Jesus loves us this we know………

A young friend of mine quoted Robert Heinlein to me the other day and it has consumed my thoughts ever since. The quote: “In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it”

This thought has propelled me into lesson two on “Stop”. In lesson one a few days ago I referred to my need to stop and consider my physical condition needing improvement. Secondly I saw my need to stop and assess the affects of poor decisions or unforeseen circumstances in my life. The quote above leads me to add a number three. What am I enslaved by? This may come as a shock to those who know me (lol) but I have discovered on my journey that I am an enabler. Planet Carol has not fully accepted this fact but I am working through what is called the confusing profile of an enabler- the blending of saintly martyr, victim and superhero. I still bristle at the fact that perhaps I have not always been honest about my true feelings in order to ward off confrontations and keep everyone happy. The most interesting part is that others observed this about me long ago, but I never recognized it myself. When my daughter asked me where is planet Carol I gave her the first truly honest answer I had ever given her- I don’t know! Today because I have begun to clearly define my goals I can say Planet Carol is on a journey to become someone not only others will benefit from (important to an enabler, oh dear), but a journey that brings true satisfaction to my heart. I am allowing myself to enjoy a personal relationship with God and to spend time doing things that I truly love to do. Most importantly I am stepping back from always saying yes. The incredible result of this is that what I do say yes to is yielding better results.

Being honest is the goal today. I have always thought I was merciful and loving “bending the truth”. I also was deceived in my thinking that honesty would lead to hurts or confrontations. I am discovering to be truly honest is really very sensitive and loving. I am watching others have an opportunity to be the superhero and me the joy of cheering them on (the new me pictured above at a party I would  formerly have felt responsible to stay busy so others could enjoy). Planet Carol has a choice no matter how difficult life may be- so today I will begin monitoring even more closely what and why am I choosing to……………….

How many stop signs have you run? How often do you get a ticket? I don’t know the answer to how many, but I do remember the one ticket! The price however only had a minimal effect- I don’t even remember how much it was. Now don’t misunderstand- I am not a reckless driver, but at the same time I seem to find myself heading under the yellow light watching it turn red quite often. Be assured that the family whose loved one was hurt or even killed as a result of someone running a red light never does that and has choice words for those of us who do.


Stopping is not related to going. People who don’t go anywhere or do anything live at the stop sign. They are robbing themselves of the adventure and pleasure of things to come down the street. Only those of us who are moving need to learn how to stop. When our movement becomes routine and pressure driven we will also miss the adventure and pleasure of things we are passing. Regardless of our hearts to be a blessing we become a danger to others when we miss the stop sign in a state of complete oblivion to those around us. It is a scary moment when you get home and realize you really don’t remember anything about the trip.

Many of us are in rebellion as adults. Who are you to tell me to stop? You tell me to stop eating- I tell you to stop smoking- you tell me I am too busy- I tell you to stop taking drugs- you tell me to stop yelling- I tell you to notify your body language that you aren’t upset- you tell me…..STOP THE MADNESS! We are very poor at affecting change in others as hard as we may try. But I do have control over myself. Today I am asking myself why I want to learn to stop. Here are two thoughts for those of you enrolled in the Stop, Drop, and Roll Class:

1. I am unhappy with my present physical health and if I do not choose to stop some things I am no different than someone suicidal- inevitably my life span will be affected.

2. Running into things affects parts of us that we need in order to live an abundant life. The fall into the swing left a bruise on my forehead and pain in my shoulder. An encounter with a family member left a hurt in my heart. Expectations not met left a separation in friendship. Not going to bed left me exhausted without strength for a new day. On and on the examples go!

Clearly there are some lessons to be learned here. I think I will stop and meditate awhile……..

Since several asked to sign up for my “Stop, Drop, Roll Class” I thought I would comment as I work through my course. It simply wouldn’t be possible for me to go from step one to step 3- I am one who when all else fails reads the directions. (Ooops- somehow I think I will be returning to that thought!) The fact is I fell yesterday. Off the bottom step of my front porch into the rocks and slammed my head into the wooden swing. Today I feel like I was run over by a Mac truck with a bump on my head and the left shoulder doesn’t want to stretch, but I am ok. There is an equally worse part to the story- I did this in front of a new piano student’s father and the humiliation of him trying to help me up would win me $100,000 on America’s Funniest Home Videos! As I meditated on this moment I realized that falling was supposed to be a choice and be exhilarating! Like skydiving, or parasailing (that's me above!) or riding a roller coaster (which I don't enjoy!). Participants are trained when, where, and how to fall. My first lesson in this class is when, where and how to drop. When I look at the life of Jesus these are some answers that I see:


1. Jesus knew when he needed to leave the crowds and get away to pray. He didn’t consult with anyone about the timing or consider the circumstances around Him- He knew He needed to pray and He left everything to be alone and drop to His knees before His father.

2. During His prayers God His Father revealed to Him when and why to drop His personal desires and needs and press on in obedience. These are clear when He was tempted in the wilderness and when He prayed before His arrest. He only did what the Father instructed Him to do and thus never stumbled. As the Son of God He never tried to do the Father’s work without God's specific direction.

3. Jesus did not allow any circumstance to control His destiny. Winds, waves, and His own tears at the death of Lazarus did not blur the truth that He was on a mission to save the world and had the power of God to grace Him to do it!

4. Lastly for this moment, I think of Jesus teachings to “Love your Enemies” and forgive always no matter what. We are a society so full of opinion and passionate in our causes that we simply don’t know how to drop it! Wonder what America would look like if we dropped all our cares and concerns and passions at the feet of Jesus and just loved one another……………….