Has anyone ever surprised you by showing admiration at an unexpected moment? We have seminary students live with us and I often play quiet worship music on the piano, but though I haven’t been playing the piano (as much as I plan to this year) most often when I do it is when no one is home. I would expect admiration playing a contemporary song or at least contemporary worship song maybe with a bit of jazz with either of these guys. Today one of them came in while I was belting out an arrangement of a very old hymn and when I finished he was clapping. Hasn’t happened in the 6 years we have been doing this. Go figure. We truly cannot predict what another person will admire or need accurately. This year I thought my Mom would go crazy over her family slides being put to music on a DVD at Christmas. Now don’t get me wrong- she was thrilled, but her true “moment” on Christmas was the presentation of a cookbook dedicated to her and her recipes. I was really surprised at the reality of that as she had constantly been talking about where her pictures were!

In an opposite observation I have watched others sincerely attempt to bless me over the years. Most of the time I truly appreciated the effort and felt a rush of their love for me! How I need that to go on- don’t you? But sadly, often at my neediest moment, no one was there. They couldn’t see my heart. They didn’t know anything was wrong. Alone in my pain often sent me closer to God, which is the best thing ever, but it is you that I live with. For my life to be full it must be shared. That is just how I am- a people who needs people person. In the pace we all live in we sadly find out things long after they have happened because we don’t talk to each other anymore. This is a choice. One my sister recently pointed out that I have often made trying to protect others, when the truth is together things usually can be worked out with less struggle and pain. I have only ever been alone in my pain because I chose it- a poor choice for the people person! However another reason I’ve made that choice was keeping me safe. We all know personal information in the hands of the wrong people is what the Bible refers to casting your pearls before swine. Being new on face book I accidentally posted something on the public news feed that I thought would just be on this person’s inbox (very technically deprived as I am). My mouse was racing until I figured out how to take it off! Silly? Sad? Who cares? You may even right now wonder what I could possibly post that anyone might draw a wrong conclusion from, but in my life experience that is what we as humans are the best at- drawing wrong conclusions! Even more interesting is the fact these wrong conclusions are based on our little bit of experience in this vast universe containing billions of individuals with their own thoughts, opinions, needs and desires.

My husband says he could be happy as a hermit. I let him revel in his own fantasy, but the same person is the social planner in our circle of friends and a lost puppy when left alone for more than one day. Today I feel that I am rambling more than usual as I write, but the truth is I am searching for how to make the connections that will propel me back into a healthier, fuller life. Without God it won’t happen, but as all you Christians and church goers reading this know- the human factor still rears it’s head more often than the renewed mind of Christ we may be seeking to connect with……………