A young friend of mine quoted Robert Heinlein to me the other day and it has consumed my thoughts ever since. The quote: “In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it”

This thought has propelled me into lesson two on “Stop”. In lesson one a few days ago I referred to my need to stop and consider my physical condition needing improvement. Secondly I saw my need to stop and assess the affects of poor decisions or unforeseen circumstances in my life. The quote above leads me to add a number three. What am I enslaved by? This may come as a shock to those who know me (lol) but I have discovered on my journey that I am an enabler. Planet Carol has not fully accepted this fact but I am working through what is called the confusing profile of an enabler- the blending of saintly martyr, victim and superhero. I still bristle at the fact that perhaps I have not always been honest about my true feelings in order to ward off confrontations and keep everyone happy. The most interesting part is that others observed this about me long ago, but I never recognized it myself. When my daughter asked me where is planet Carol I gave her the first truly honest answer I had ever given her- I don’t know! Today because I have begun to clearly define my goals I can say Planet Carol is on a journey to become someone not only others will benefit from (important to an enabler, oh dear), but a journey that brings true satisfaction to my heart. I am allowing myself to enjoy a personal relationship with God and to spend time doing things that I truly love to do. Most importantly I am stepping back from always saying yes. The incredible result of this is that what I do say yes to is yielding better results.

Being honest is the goal today. I have always thought I was merciful and loving “bending the truth”. I also was deceived in my thinking that honesty would lead to hurts or confrontations. I am discovering to be truly honest is really very sensitive and loving. I am watching others have an opportunity to be the superhero and me the joy of cheering them on (the new me pictured above at a party I would  formerly have felt responsible to stay busy so others could enjoy). Planet Carol has a choice no matter how difficult life may be- so today I will begin monitoring even more closely what and why am I choosing to……………….

How many stop signs have you run? How often do you get a ticket? I don’t know the answer to how many, but I do remember the one ticket! The price however only had a minimal effect- I don’t even remember how much it was. Now don’t misunderstand- I am not a reckless driver, but at the same time I seem to find myself heading under the yellow light watching it turn red quite often. Be assured that the family whose loved one was hurt or even killed as a result of someone running a red light never does that and has choice words for those of us who do.


Stopping is not related to going. People who don’t go anywhere or do anything live at the stop sign. They are robbing themselves of the adventure and pleasure of things to come down the street. Only those of us who are moving need to learn how to stop. When our movement becomes routine and pressure driven we will also miss the adventure and pleasure of things we are passing. Regardless of our hearts to be a blessing we become a danger to others when we miss the stop sign in a state of complete oblivion to those around us. It is a scary moment when you get home and realize you really don’t remember anything about the trip.

Many of us are in rebellion as adults. Who are you to tell me to stop? You tell me to stop eating- I tell you to stop smoking- you tell me I am too busy- I tell you to stop taking drugs- you tell me to stop yelling- I tell you to notify your body language that you aren’t upset- you tell me…..STOP THE MADNESS! We are very poor at affecting change in others as hard as we may try. But I do have control over myself. Today I am asking myself why I want to learn to stop. Here are two thoughts for those of you enrolled in the Stop, Drop, and Roll Class:

1. I am unhappy with my present physical health and if I do not choose to stop some things I am no different than someone suicidal- inevitably my life span will be affected.

2. Running into things affects parts of us that we need in order to live an abundant life. The fall into the swing left a bruise on my forehead and pain in my shoulder. An encounter with a family member left a hurt in my heart. Expectations not met left a separation in friendship. Not going to bed left me exhausted without strength for a new day. On and on the examples go!

Clearly there are some lessons to be learned here. I think I will stop and meditate awhile……..

Since several asked to sign up for my “Stop, Drop, Roll Class” I thought I would comment as I work through my course. It simply wouldn’t be possible for me to go from step one to step 3- I am one who when all else fails reads the directions. (Ooops- somehow I think I will be returning to that thought!) The fact is I fell yesterday. Off the bottom step of my front porch into the rocks and slammed my head into the wooden swing. Today I feel like I was run over by a Mac truck with a bump on my head and the left shoulder doesn’t want to stretch, but I am ok. There is an equally worse part to the story- I did this in front of a new piano student’s father and the humiliation of him trying to help me up would win me $100,000 on America’s Funniest Home Videos! As I meditated on this moment I realized that falling was supposed to be a choice and be exhilarating! Like skydiving, or parasailing (that's me above!) or riding a roller coaster (which I don't enjoy!). Participants are trained when, where, and how to fall. My first lesson in this class is when, where and how to drop. When I look at the life of Jesus these are some answers that I see:


1. Jesus knew when he needed to leave the crowds and get away to pray. He didn’t consult with anyone about the timing or consider the circumstances around Him- He knew He needed to pray and He left everything to be alone and drop to His knees before His father.

2. During His prayers God His Father revealed to Him when and why to drop His personal desires and needs and press on in obedience. These are clear when He was tempted in the wilderness and when He prayed before His arrest. He only did what the Father instructed Him to do and thus never stumbled. As the Son of God He never tried to do the Father’s work without God's specific direction.

3. Jesus did not allow any circumstance to control His destiny. Winds, waves, and His own tears at the death of Lazarus did not blur the truth that He was on a mission to save the world and had the power of God to grace Him to do it!

4. Lastly for this moment, I think of Jesus teachings to “Love your Enemies” and forgive always no matter what. We are a society so full of opinion and passionate in our causes that we simply don’t know how to drop it! Wonder what America would look like if we dropped all our cares and concerns and passions at the feet of Jesus and just loved one another……………….

Seems like everywhere we go there are cones and yellow caution tapes directing us away from danger. Food labels warn us, prescriptions now come with 6 typed pages of side affects, toys are marked not to give to children under 3 and on and on the warnings go. I have not heeded warnings well and have come to a place that consequences are trying to take over. Why haven’t I heeded the warnings? I must confess that part of it has led me to repent of a self righteous arrogance which is quite different from when I am standing in faith before God. Secondly I have to confess that my coping methods to comfort myself have become so strong I look like a child who won’t give up their “blankie” even though it is full of holes and there is little comfort to grab onto. This year has been the year of letting go. Letting go of control in situations I have no power to change. Letting go of many fears and truly putting my trust in God. Letting go of expectations and being content where I find myself. (Just to mention a few!)


Someone asked me the other day what my new goals were right now. “Stop, drop and roll” I said to their surprise. You see I am a fireman. The planet loaded with hoses, water tanks, helmets and first aid of every kind. I spend little time working on the equipment at the docking station- I am out as the “quick responder” ready to save the world. This week I realized I had missed an important training class. Stop, Drop & Roll.  When I catch on fire in the midst I just keep running on trying to save others until I get sick from the fumes, burnt so badly I don’t recognize myself in the mirror, or simply drop and become the one carried off on the stretcher from pure exhaustion. Recognizing that I am on fire is difficult for someone who pays so little attention to themselves where it counts. I am more comfortable out there directing the rescue of others than I am taking care of my own health, physically, mentally and spiritually. I see clearly that if I were to die today I may be remembered with some admiration and love, but it would be a life cut short due to neglect of oneself that would be my true legacy. I decided today to take the Stop, Drop & Roll class. Somewhere in the course I am sure to find Psalm 119:133, “Direct my footsteps according to Your Word- let no sin rule over me.” It may be the hardest course of my life, but somehow I already know you will like me better………….

Our family is very dramatic. We are passionate about life and voices tend to volume up as we share our deep convictions- sometimes about the smallest things! One daughter is quite the stand up comedian and in middle school went on about her dad’s car calling it “the green machine”. With hand gestures and voice changes she described the ride to school. While listening to oldies Dad had the heat blasting and the windows down causing the wind to mess up their hair! We were rolling on the floor, but that is a serious issue for junior high! We have taken on many challenges of which I have written about before and all of my children have traveled abroad not because we had the money- but we raised it working hard. Mark 9: 23 describes us well, “Everything is possible for him who believes”.

What do I believe today? In some ways there is such wonderful satisfaction and love in life. In other ways I am feeling tired and worn out. The world would say “age” is catching up with me. I have decided it is not age- it is a complacent rut I got stuck in. Some of the most significant people in history didn’t even begin the best stories of their legacy until after 60 years old! It’s time for a new beginning! Last year we lost the “family tree” which graced the front yard, housed birds and children, and was in every special family photo! This past week we planted a new tree pictured above with my grandchildren. I have decided starting today to be fresh and grow along with my new tree.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out it's roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes, its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-9 NIV

This morning I woke up with some young mothers on my heart. Any one with little ones is young! The tune from “The King and I”- “Hello Young Lovers” came to me. Allow me to rewrite the lyrics for you today.


Hello young mothers, whoever you are,
I hope your troubles are few.
All my good wishes go with you today
I've been a Mom like you.

Be brave, young mothers, and follow your star,
Be brave and faithful and true,
Cling very close to your children today
I've been a Mom like you.

I know how it feels to have fussing all day,
And to fly down the street after the dog!.
I used fabric diapers that hung on my cupboards
as the rain poured outside in the fog.

Don't cry young mothers, at least not all day
Don't cry because you’re not alone;
All of your memories will be precious to you,
I've had some kids of my own.
I've had days that were too much, like yours-
I've had some kids of my own.

Jesus loves moms of all the little children in the world……………..

       

 

Why write when there are thousands of authors to choose from already? Why paint when the starving artist is discovered only after they are gone? Why sing when American Idol eliminates tens of thousands every season? Why dance? Why create? We sadly choose not to use so many of our talents because they don’t generate income and according to the world without money there is no life! I just finished the first in a series of Novels by Terri Blackstock called Last Light. By the end of the first page America lost all power, all cell phones, all generators, cars and trains stopped, planes crashed and it was not the second coming of Jesus! How we would respond is cleverly written with great insight into humanity. I for one cannot truly imagine it.

So what is the answer to the “Whys” above? We are each dwelling with others in our own small pocket of the universe. The people who share our space are recording our lives each time we appear. It may be a personal conversation with them that meets both our needs to share life. Possibly someone is witnessing our yelling at the kids or the grocery clerk who put the frozen meat in the bag with our loaf of bread. I went shopping for school supplies for the grandkids and within a few minutes in one store I had to listen to 4 hateful cell phone conversations other shoppers were having. It made me want to be nice! It made me kinder the rest of the day. It caused me to go out of my way to let someone in, let someone go first, and compliment everyone I saw!

Write because our thoughts are unique and what has given us hope will help others.

Paint because the uniqueness of your design will cause another to pause, rest their mind and think.

Sing because the children need to hear it and remember the fun in our lives.

Dance because it will dazzle others or give them the laugh they needed for the day.

Create because we need something fresh to keep us from rotting in our routines……..