May of this year I received a comment on a blog I had published entitled “Happy Birthday to Me”.  For some reason I just recently saw it but feel it is a justifiable question even though the person chose to remain anonymous.  Here is the comment:

In Nov. of 2009 you posted your first blog. Just prior to that you posted your profile which said you were looking to find planet Carol. It is now 4 years plus later since that profile was posted. Who and where and what are you now 4 years down the road from beginning to seek who planet Carol is ????

1.  The discovery of me has been most enlightening.  After living for over fifty years I was amazed that I could see myself clearly for who I really am rather than who I perceived I am.  For example I found that all my giving and labor was not all out of a sincere heart of love, but often to compensate for the weaknesses of others.  The word boundaries has taken new meaning as I find that giving in and of itself can bring frustration and weariness if in fact it is not true to my hearts desire.  It is in my best interest and better for others to often say the word no!   Saying no more often has made saying yes much more fulfilling and enriched my life.  In addition the patterns that have been repeated in my life have opened my eyes to realize I have only begun to learn the secrets of a healthy satisfying life.  Today I see myself continuing the roller coaster ride of my body weight.  However now I know I made a good friend called dessert that I cling to in moments of stress.  Awareness has increased my hope to let this friend go and I have experienced enough victories to know this is a really bad relationship.  I have great empathy for people who have made bad relationships and struggle to break the tie.  There are many other areas I could include but will let this suffice as this is a blog not a book.

2.  Where I am today is a much more peaceful place.  I am not looking for myself but rather I am embracing who I am.  Being perfect, correct, doing the right thing is no longer on the goal list.  I have replaced them with being completely honest, not fearing mistakes, and making my best effort daily to be a blessing to others.

3.  What am I now?  I am a person not ashamed of my faith in God and belief in the Bible as His Word.  In all that I read, in the many who counsel me, in the experiences of my life only those connected to God have brought me the answers I was so deeply seeking November of 2009.  A friend put it so well just the other day- no longer do I believe in God and His Word- I know God and I know His Word is truth.

Some blogs express my love for God, others share the stories of life that so many relate to or enjoy.  When I am writing now it is with the hope that some person will smile or be encouraged as I have been.  Writing is reaching out in friendship to anyone who wants to share life with me even if we never meet. Today I hope anonymous sees and reads this blog.  It is the response you send that challenges me to continue seeking…..