Family and friends refer to our house as “Grand Central Station” as the activity level of people coming and going is very high.  My mom refused to live with us because it was too busy here!  That being said it is interesting that yesterday at home alone I experienced claustrophobia having no way to go anywhere. Then loneliness set in so I took my husband to his evening shift so I could go out for the evening.  However I found myself unable to connect with anyone, not in a shopping mood, and all movies let out too late to be in time to pick my husband up.  I drove home deeply missing my Mom.  Her final years were spent at an assisted living home about fifteen minutes from here.  I took her to appointments, out to lunch, to movies, or just driving for the fun of it.  She would always say, “I’m sorry I am so much trouble” and I would always say, “Are you kidding?  You are my excuse to leave my everyday life and go have some fun!”  It was true then and now I realize how much of a gap in my life it has left.  In addition my husband’s sister went to heaven this year.  About once a month she and I shared a very long phone conversation.  Who better to talk to than the only sister of the man I married who was truly the only one who understood him better than me!  We shared that good ol’ girl talk about everything in our family life that makes you hang up feeling so refreshed and reminded about everything really important in life.

 

Don’t misunderstand- I am not complaining about these losses- I am sharing the gratefulness I will forever carry in my heart that I had these relationships in my life.   I am a person blessed with wonderful family-grandchildren-friends that truly care about me.  If ever I lose any of them I will miss them too.  We are unique individuals- each with something special to give to another and often we aren’t even aware of it.  When my twins were born it was both the most exciting and challenging time.  With my husband a full time student and already a two year old in our family I would not have described the first few months my “finest hour” of being there for others.  When the twins turned four months old we made the decision to leave finishing seminary for a bit later in life and made our plans to move back to Kentucky.  Imagine my amazement at the outpouring of love from our neighbors and friends who again and again said how much they would miss us - how we had been such an inspiration in their lives! You just never know.  After yesterday I realized I needed to make the time to go to that scrapbooking class one of my piano Mom’s invited me too. I hear Barbara singing, “People- people who need people- are the luckiest people in the world………”