Saturday a group I was leading asked me when I became this “director, in charge” person. I have always told people I was born busy! The photo above shows I was well into action by 2 ½! The thing about personality traits is they define what people see, but often don’t clearly reflect the person of the heart we truly are. There is no doubt I earned my reputation as the “bossy big sister” and one of my brothers drew a line he never retreated from when I was about 5th grade and decided the family needed to draw names for Christmas in July! In my many years as perceived intimidating, bossy, overbearing the truth was my heart was very tender and from my perspective I was simply doing what I was born to do- “Save the world!” “Fix all problems around me!” “Make things happen!” It was truly a heart for the good of the many that obviously were not going to make it without my input, help, and leadership! Look at that sweet little thing up there in the photo- who could doubt her intent of just making sure that everything turned out right and everybody was ok????? Two things have come to light as my planet remains in lockdown in repair:


1. I am truly shocked to find that what people perceived in me over the years was not most often a reflection of my true heart and intentions.

2. Amazingly things I have backed away from continue to go on and prosper without my directions.

My brothers and sister fought over who would sit next to me in the car because I always had the fun things to do. People want to come to our home because they know it will be fun. The balance I was missing was I didn’t know how to just be the participant! This “leadership of all” burnt out the planet engine and thus I got lost in space! A few weeks ago my daughter’s declared I would be their guest at Easter and they hoped my husband and I would pick up my Mom and come. It was a first for me (I only cook on Christmas and Easter!) They were elated that I didn’t fight the issue and I experienced the fun of just being a part. It was wonderful! This morning I was reading Psalm 91- “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty”. I need that shadow to cover me- today I will get off the box of leadership and fold my hands in prayer and perhaps something wonderful beyond my ability to plan will happen……………