It wasn’t just any pack of corn. It wasn’t the store brand. It was gourmet corn with a special sauce. How dare I use it as an ice pack on my aching back! It wasn’t just a comment. He walked in and out of the room 3 times waving his arms using a raised voice. He really wanted to eat that corn and I had ruined it! And to top it off it cost $2.99!!!!! I couldn’t be serious about this and yes I was laughing at him. Good grief here’s $10 go buy 3 packages!


When all it takes is a $2.99 package of corn to set us off life it too serious- we are living under too much stress. Neither our minds nor our bodies were created to live in such a fragile state of emotions. Yet we all have our bag of corn and God help the person who messes with it! Usually we are not aware of what the bag of corn is. It just pops up and we react! It’s never the corn that is the problem of course. It’s the deeper things we don’t talk about or don’t want others to know about- but mess with the corn and trust me everyone knows there is a problem here!

Yesterday I suggested in my blog that I wanted to spend more time getting to know you- whoever you are. It has occurred to me that there are those of us who are not really willing to share who we really are most of the time. We just want you to believe what we think we are portraying to you and then the corn shows up. It is embarrassing and virtually impossible to try to explain a blow up over $2.99 corn. What follows next is a discussion of the reality of what is upsetting or walking away and returning later as if nothing ever happened unwilling to be that transparent about who we are.

Jesus is with us always. Happy, excited, sad, angry, or out of control over the corn. True repair comes when I look for Him in the moment and receive whatever wisdom He may have for me right then. It is the layers of ignoring being out of control over and over that put me here. It’s ok if it takes time to peal them off- my happy planet will be overjoyed……………………

Determined to get the perfect shot Planet Carol has gotten many groans from family planet members as well as a few rotten tomatoes tossed her way! I usually take about 6 shots hoping for one that is just right- as in the photo above. For me it is like trying to make a puzzle piece fit where it just doesn’t go if I have to settle for less than I know is truly possible. Such perfectionism causes many malfunctions in life. Energy designed for other purposes is used up and guess what I’ve discovered:


1. No one else cares if the shot is perfect.

2. Though others may enjoy the photo momentarily it will eventually be lost in the 100 boxes of pictures or CD’s.

3. You will be asked for a picture of something 10 years after an event and will be expected to produce it. Even after you search all day it may be the one shot you never took.

Today I will be more selective about how much time and energy to give to the current project. (It isn’t possible for me to life without a couple going!) However, in the end of life do I really want to be remembered as a planet who buzzed the universe annoying others with my busyness? There is more to me than that. As I continue in repair dock I am realizing I would like to know you and share more in the life you live………

Everyone has a list whether or not it is written down. I think of the scenes in “It’s a wonderful life” where George Bailey grabs the loose cap on the staircase over and over. The cap represents the list we just can’t seem to get to and YEARS go by and it remains undone. This past Saturday, empathizing with my husband’s list, I offered to pick up a paintbrush and stain the outdoor swing. The list had worn him down- after 35+ years of not allowing me to touch his paintbrushes etc. - he agreed.

The day was perfect. Clear blue skies and about 68 degrees. Planes from Thunder over Louisville provided a private backyard show. My working motivated him to mow and move mulch and he kissed me every time he walked by (so that’s how you get that attention!) At the end of the day I was very proud of my work and happy to have helped my husband move on. Then I woke up the next morning. Pain!-it that has stayed with me every day since. Advil and Bengay providing only moments of relief- I could care less how wonderful the swing looks!

Someday it will be gone, but the true issue is why it is there? Planet Carol has always been the director, the pianist, the creator who works very hard, but not in manual labor.

The paint brush stroking and the bending for the stain made parts of my planet work that rarely moved before. For a couple of hours I happily engaged them in this workout! The ensuing pain blared the message I was out of shape! Whether we are short, tall, skinny or chubby this experience comes if we have not been using all our parts. Any area can be out of shape. If we work hard manually day after day our ability to relax may be impaired. If we talk all the time we may lose the ability to listen. If we ignore our spiritual development we become alone and empty. Now I am contemplating other parts of me that are not being used.

I doubt I will pick up another paintbrush any time soon, but perhaps a walk around the block and a little stretching may be needed to resume orbiting in better control……….

Saturday a group I was leading asked me when I became this “director, in charge” person. I have always told people I was born busy! The photo above shows I was well into action by 2 ½! The thing about personality traits is they define what people see, but often don’t clearly reflect the person of the heart we truly are. There is no doubt I earned my reputation as the “bossy big sister” and one of my brothers drew a line he never retreated from when I was about 5th grade and decided the family needed to draw names for Christmas in July! In my many years as perceived intimidating, bossy, overbearing the truth was my heart was very tender and from my perspective I was simply doing what I was born to do- “Save the world!” “Fix all problems around me!” “Make things happen!” It was truly a heart for the good of the many that obviously were not going to make it without my input, help, and leadership! Look at that sweet little thing up there in the photo- who could doubt her intent of just making sure that everything turned out right and everybody was ok????? Two things have come to light as my planet remains in lockdown in repair:


1. I am truly shocked to find that what people perceived in me over the years was not most often a reflection of my true heart and intentions.

2. Amazingly things I have backed away from continue to go on and prosper without my directions.

My brothers and sister fought over who would sit next to me in the car because I always had the fun things to do. People want to come to our home because they know it will be fun. The balance I was missing was I didn’t know how to just be the participant! This “leadership of all” burnt out the planet engine and thus I got lost in space! A few weeks ago my daughter’s declared I would be their guest at Easter and they hoped my husband and I would pick up my Mom and come. It was a first for me (I only cook on Christmas and Easter!) They were elated that I didn’t fight the issue and I experienced the fun of just being a part. It was wonderful! This morning I was reading Psalm 91- “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty”. I need that shadow to cover me- today I will get off the box of leadership and fold my hands in prayer and perhaps something wonderful beyond my ability to plan will happen……………

Stepping out of the car I put my finger to my lips. My husband shrugging his shoulders and waving his arm is asking why? “Silence”, I say. We stand there on top of the mountain together breathing it in- no breeze or birds and clear blue sky and absolutely no sound. It was annoying and sad for the moment to only last 2 minutes- a bird sang followed immediately by a noisy group of tourists invading our spot. I was greatly moved by this moment realizing that I could not remember the last moment of silence in my life. What I consider silence includes the sound of cars, birds chirping, dogs barking and planes flying overhead. It just means the TV, phone and CD player are off and there are no humans within 10 feet. This moment of true silence startled me and the refreshment to my sound-pounded soul was wonderful! We drove on for hours after that without radio or CD’s remembering what we knew we might never capture again.


In all personality tests out there I come out as the director- the socialite- “the annoying one” who interrupts the quiet lives of others! God knew there would be a limit to how long I would have lasted in the silence and I definitely would have been the one to break it at some point. How sweet of the Lord to interrupt it before I was ready so I would savor it and desire it again. This past year I have appreciated being alone more hours of my day. It has given me time to read, write and think about what is really important. To appreciate very simple things I probably used to run over as the “bulldozer” Planet Carol! I don’t want to become a hermit- I must live within a mile of a 24 hour grocery and drive thru to make it! I do want more moments of silence- amazing how much wisdom comes to your heart in just 2 minutes of it………….

Have you ever hit delete? If you are as “savvy” as I with modern technology it could be a very dangerous button. I keep thinking I’ve learned my lesson, but keeping up with the latest is beyond my reach and reading the operations manual is simply out of the question! To date my particularly dramatic experiences include:


1. About 10 years ago I typed a complete 25 page employee manual I created. Just as I finished the computer went crazy and I lost the whole thing- hours of work- because I hadn’t saved as I went along.

2. About 2 years ago my computer got a virus and I lost some valuable material, though a wonderful technician recovered most of it- I didn’t know about flash drives to back up my stuff.

3. Yesterday driving home from a wonderful trip to Virginia with my husband I thought my camera was warning me I was almost out of space. I began to delete single pictures to make room. Then a screen popped up and asked me if I wanted to delete all the pictures on the camera. I quickly responded- I thought I said no! The camera thought I said yes! Immediately it started the process and frantically I hit every button including the off button to stop it to no avail. There were irreplaceable family photos as well as a couple hours of work photographing the town where Jim’s family lived with the intention of making a book for his Aunt.

So often we assume we are safe from calamity just going on as if nothing can touch us. Then in a moment- we hit the wrong button and life changes. We get a diagnosis we are unprepared to deal with. An accident steals a loved one away and there are unsaid words never to be uttered. There is some programming that my planet needs installed more carefully, to be reviewed often, memorized for moments of distress that may require manual control. It is the Word of God. “Cast all your care upon Him, for He careth for you”- “Trust in the Lord and lean not to your own understanding”- “We love Him because He first loved us”- “My God shall supply all my needs according to HIS RICHES”- “Go ye into all the world and preach the GOOD NEWS!” “For lo, I AM with you always-even to the end of the world”………

In my universe we celebrate firsts in a big way. First steps (mine pictured above), first birthdays (In Hawaii this is a huge extended family affair costing “a bit of change”), first words, first day of school, first job, etc….. This first comes as a result of an expected destination in life. For those who do not make those expected achievements sadness and challenge may interrupt life in unexpected ways we are not prepared for. For those who do the celebration is fun, but then it is back to routine and onto the next goal in the path of development. In the human world there is only one first. As adults first impressions, first college grades, first attempt at business or investment, first loves all become more stressful. If we goof it up we have to work harder to make it the next time.


Planet Carol has had so many re-tries in my rotations that I am dizzy and fight strong doubts about whether or not I can really make it in certain areas. Starting over after 200 well meaning attempts becomes almost absurd. I am reminded of the saying “If you continue to do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten”.

Well, I’ve done it lots of ways, but seem to get the same results anyway- usually short term! If I choose to try again it takes overwhelming effort just to start!

The good news of this day and for the future of all planets sharing my universe is that with God- His mercy is new every morning. Once forgiven- He forgets. The firsts go on and on. I will choose something today and though my mind conceives it as “here we go again” I will allow God to give me wisdom as He sees my first attempt- they are a joy to Him as much as my first step to my parents……….

This morning I walked out onto our front porch to take a coffee break and was startled to see tree blossoms in my front yard. It took a moment to think about how that could be- I could only remember seeing them in neighbors yards. Then it hit me. The blossoming tree had always been there, but hidden by the huge maple that had graced over our front porch all 20 years we have lived here. It was such a sad day when we cut it down, but now spring is here and I am enjoying blossoms in my own front yard! How many things have I not seen because something else has always blocked my vision? When we are distracted by pain or hurt our vision becomes blocked just as surely as if a huge tree were in front of us. As healing comes to us we see things that were always there, but we just didn’t see because of our inability to focus. There are days in space dock repairs Planet Carol becomes distracted or feels hopeless about pulling through. Over and over I have to remind myself:

“I will lift up mine eyes to the hills from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. “Psalm 121:1-3.

The blossoms this morning are my hope image for a continuing journey that holds pleasant surprises as I wake up to health in my body, soul, and spirit. God is not asleep! He is alive and well…………...