Yesterday I was spending quality time with my mom who struggles with short term memory issues. She asked me what day it was and I told her January 28 and talked all about leap year being tomorrow (which of course is today).  “Then why are we taking Valentine’s Day decorations down?” she asked, “It isn’t for two more weeks…”   Caught in my mistake we started the conversation over. Mom was really enjoying this and laughing suggested I may in fact be the one who needs help with her memory!  This is not the first such incident to occur during our time together.  Mom is always making me laugh at myself and it feels so good.  Somehow it seems that the more time I reflect upon who I am and where I have come in my own life I find the negatives want to push to the forefront and take the lead.   Having become a more avid listener I sadly must report this to be true of many of my peers.  Where are the happy people?

Today I want to thank the following people who no longer live in this world for mentoring happiness in my life.  By the grace of God I will be on someone’s list one day…:

                 Aunt Betty:  The aunt with no children of her own who spoiled me rotten, sat at the dessert table with me on thanksgiving until we had tasted everything, got away with telling my military father to chill, and on whose driveway I first kissed my husband.

                 Dad:  Wearing an old straw hat he sang “Down by the Old Mill Stream” with Mom every Friday night.  This was the end of a Friday night ritual to the then five(later six) of his children who chased peanuts down the hall, blew bubbles all over the kitchen with straws using dish soap, and performed our show of the week. Those nights were priceless as strict rules reigned the rest of the time.  He loved and respected my husband of choice and made him feel esteemed.  This military man who mellowed over the years in the end tried to teach me what he hadn’t always known- lighten up!

                 Dan and Barbara:  Their love and hospitality liberally shared with us as newlyweds green around the gills was inexhaustible.  They always had time for us as if time stood still and they had no one else in the world to talk to or help out.  I didn’t know till years later the heavy burdens they carried in life during that time as they lived so relaxed and content!

                 Bob and Eddie:  Their door was open twenty-four seven.  As a college kid know it all these retired missionaries loved me and respected me for where I was in life.  They made me think, but didn’t correct.  Through the years from a distance they continued to build me up and cheer me on to do anything I felt God put in my heart.

                 Panky:  My husband’s great aunt who sent the most outrageous cards we ever received no matter what the holiday. A family favorite was a greeting from Hell, Michigan (a real placeJ).  We have a Christmas one received years ago that we still put up in December.  The woman refused to be serious ever!!!!!

                 Jane:  She loved to shop and saved coupons for me to use when I came to visit.  Having a good time was priority and she loved to laugh.  Always thinner and more current in her fashion look- yet she always made me feel beautiful.  She appreciated everything I ever did for her with enthusiastic sincere gratitude.  Though greatly suffering herself was quick to put my need on her top ten prayer list.

                

"It has taken three months of practice to get this ball in my hand.  Now let’s see.  What am I to do with it?”  Everyone has patience with the baby as he develops his personality, gains control of his arms and fingers, learns to communicate and much more.  We are all excited at every new stage- every accomplishment- and we clap and cheer over every roll, smile, and coo!   Wonder what the world would be like if we never lost that patience with each other’s development.  If we showered one another with hugs, words of encouragement, and sincerely tolerated the inability to perform what everyone was anxiously waiting for us to do?

In my observations expectations from a child become more intense in adult minds as early as six months old.  If the child isn’t walking at a year old people panic and push. When the child is not    following all the “behavior rules” by eighteen months aggravation seeps in. Already our tolerance has diminished to the degree we cannot see an innocent sweet child as unique- different- a one of a kind creation with their own path to follow.  “Train up a child in the way he should go and he shall  not depart from it  sat on my Dad’s dresser taped to a photo of all us kids.  To guide, instruct, and make fit for sharing in life with others in this world. These are good things, yet the methods used to “train” are so numerous we find ourselves as adults in a frustrated world unable to agree, compromise, and selfishly holding on to our method as the right one.  I am not saying I don’t believe there are absolute truths because I do.  What I am saying is that upon finding myself in an unexpected breaking point in my life not only was I amazed - but everyone who knew me!  I truly needed care- help to learn to juggle my ball- but I was past the “age” of development so patience to help me came only from a blessed few.

As a spectator of human interactions I am so blessed to observe loving caring behavior extended to others.  Sadly, however, I see more examples of what I pray I never would do. As I have mellowed out in my more “mature years” visions of things I have said and done to others in my past bring remorse to my heart.  Personal passions forced onto others only drove them away.  Only what was observed that another desired for themselves caused a gravitational pull towards me and gave me the opportunity to mentor another.  There are beliefs and just causes that remain passionate in my heart, but if my heart cries for love and understanding I can only presume yours does too…………….

Morning.  It’s a given we will wake up every day.  My husband was born on Ground Hog Day so as usual we watched the movie this year.  Waking up to the same day over and over drives this character to extreme measures to figure out what to do with his life.  I realized today when I woke up a deeper insight in the movie- most of us open our eyes to be immediately reminded of something in our lives we don’t want to face AGAIN! Whether it’s my belly that jiggles like Jell-O, my checkbook that wants to bleed red, an illness or chronic pain, a heartbreak, a recent death- oh my goodness this world is full of trouble!  Before the first yawn is finished I can be robbed of the joy of morning. I for one do not enjoy looking for the same answer day after day and for whatever the reason not finding it.  For all of you who have all the answers and think solving everything is just matter of fact I simply don’t believe that is reality.  Grace and Mercy.  I need it fresh and new every morning!

Failure abounds in humanity.  We all have them.  Strength abounds as well and we all have those.  Receiving that new fresh grace and mercy each day always builds my strengths and fades my failures.  Joy comes in the morning when I do this.  For years I have awakened on my birthday singing “Happy Birthday to Me!”  It is a unique loving God who sings every morning to all who will listen “Good Morning to you!”…………

Carried away with my thoughts on Technology dedicated to Aunt Joanne

 

Computers, phones, and technical gadgets I am slow to understand

is a problem for my Mom’s generation quickly advancing ahead

I for one count them a joy I don’t know how I ever lived without

I sent my kids across the ocean with only snail mail I read and reread!

Many advances I’ve not even heard of and gifts I’ve received unopened unsure

how to connect up or even operate has caused me to miss out for awhile.

No cell phone for me I remember I said-and now a junkie out of control!

No facebook- again just an ignorant threat- imagine not seeing those smiles.

Most recently my precious grandson born in Brooklyn New York

visits his grandma daily sharing details of his baby life as he grows.

He can smile and coo, look and listen, hold his froggie, even roll on his side

Any time in an instant I have multiple ways to enjoy his sweet shows.

When sister is traveling alone on the road or she wants to check up on me

she forgives that I text, as she prefers calling, but somehow connection occurs.

Losing service definitely divides the helplessly addicted humans from the rest

we cannot stop punching the buttons till full operation is restored for sure.

Texting sweet nieces in states very far away from my own

is easier on their schedules and lets them know that I am here.

For in hard times and good times there are moments to share

my heart can declare when it wants a sincere message of cheer.

A special aunt and a poet- who could write this writ much better

calls often - we talk about life and make each other laugh knowing-

we aren’t really alone whether days are lonely or full of fun things

God gave us connection though miles apart- we keep airwaves flowing!

A best friend forever stays busy twenty-four hours each day

yet she takes a minute to text questions- desires, stories or hopes.

We share in the moment whatever’s happening in our lives

though sometimes it's serious- much more often a funny quote!

Twin daughters that have bonded close to their Mom like super glue

even when around the corner text and call important news or just say hello

For us life is family happily declaring we couldn’t make it without each other

when I drive them crazy and they can hit silent mode they are there- this I know.

Every morning I sense the quiet kiss my husband never fails to leave on my cheek

though I am still dreaming, possibly snoring, hair tousled and snuggled in our bed.

When I arise my coffee and slippers automatically to my computer go for I’m sure

I’ll find the note he sent to me- encouraging- thoughtful- dependable-happy when read.

As I bring this long rambling of technical blessings to your awaited ending

I must mention too- the very important privilege of being your facebook friend.

It’s annoying and wonderful as there is far too much information revealed yet

without pictures, scrabble and words of encouragement at my fingertips- The End!

Somewhere in my early years as a Mom we found a book called “Goose Goofs Off”.  It is the story of a goose whose has lots of things to do, but as she goes down her list she decides one at a time they can wait until tomorrow.  The result is she goofs off all day!  It is fantasy I loved and envied and yet find myself guilty of!

Fantasy

What Mom can ignore all the tasks of her day without major consequences?

 

Loved

Her care free spirit- not a worry or care in the world.

Envied

The freedom to choose not to do a thing completely eluded me at that point in my life.

Guilty

I stay very very busy all day every day and yet may ignore the most important task.

In our society we do a poor job of educating our children about the concept of making a choice.  I was raised only with the threats of what would happen if I made wrong choices and the rewards for making right choices.  Those choices were defined by the parent, teacher or other authority or mentor in my life. Every choice felt heavy whether good or bad and it was a lot of work to be constantly proving or defending myself.   I didn’t learn until later the joy of living in the freedom to make my own choices based on what I deem important in life.  I am looking at the cookie thing again.  I made it through Christmas without the cookies.  Then sadness due to a funeral, happiness due to anniversary and birthday celebrations gave me the excuse to walk away from my decision.  How pitiful is that?   Obviously once again I didn’t make that choice from the depths of my heart that holds what is important in my life.  And look at me in the last two sentences defining who/what is to blame for my failure!   Below I shall redefine my responses to Goose as I see them today:

Fantasy

Mom’s should evaluate what tasks are important and leave time to play with and enjoy the children she has been blessed with as a priority.

Loved

Jesus said, “Cast all your care upon me and I will give you rest." There is a place in trusting God that we can live care free in a very messy world of problems.

Envied

I do have the freedom to choose to do or not to do whatever comes my way.

Guilty

It’s time for me to get to the core of my own heart and live from there instead of responding to the opinions or expectations of others.  I expect to find joy in being myself and taking full responsibility for how I turn out…….

Astonishing ……

Necessitating

Negotiations

Involving

Variegated

Exasperating

Rendezvous

Strengthening

And

Regenerating……

Yours truly