“….ritual Cobb Salad lunch…dreading….dreading…” is a line from a favorite movie of mine. It’s not the salad- this one I made and ate yesterday was delicious!  The problem is the friends meeting for the salad.  All of them are more successful in their careers and so self absorbed that this character feels completely intimidated by all three of her life-long friends.  The tradition was born out of a different era when there were shared life activities and events - but now it is an obligation and uncomfortable brag session.  A very incredibly sad picture of relationship change over time and far too common!

 

Intimidation has visited us all.  Sometimes it is obvious, but there are those of us who can pull off a comfortable demeanor at the moment and then walk away with the “black eye” of intimidation.  When this has happened to me I feel suffocated by a cloud of superiority threatening to squeeze the last ounce of self esteem I had out of me.  Some of my experiences have been intentional humiliation and others just insensitive remarks.  Here are a few examples from over the years that threw a good punch at my seeming “lack of success”:

 

“We only wear real gold and silver jewelry” upon receiving my costume jewelry gift.

“I’m really tired of Prime Rib- do you mind if we just go for a hamburger” when reuniting with an old friend.

“I just can’t decide which dress to wear” from their closet of many and I really didn’t have a dress.

“ Only go in the food pantry late at night when no one will see you” upon being told I could use the church pantry to help feed my kids, but the church leaders didn’t want anyone to know the truth about their part in creating a financial disaster in our family.

“Don’t sit in that chair- you might break it” announced in front of a group referring to my chubby shape.

Everyone reading this has your own list.  I’ve torn mine up this past year and really had to think hard to remember these.  Gloria Gaither wrote great children’s song years ago and I’ve decided it was for all ages so I sing along with my grandchildren and believe with all my heart it is true for grandma too!.....

I am a promise
I am a possibility
I am a promise with a capital "P"
I am a great big bundle of potentiality
And I am learnin' to hear God's voice
And I am tryin' to make the right choice
I'm a promise to be anything God wants me to be
Anything God wants me to be!