Happy Birthday To Me

Every year it is the same.  There is some chip in my brain programmed to go off when my eyes open on May the twenty-third.   I automatically begin to sing “Happy Birthday to me”. This morning I had an audience including a bright-eyed eighteen month old curly headed boy, a dozing husband with his coffee and a bustling young mother getting ready to leave with the baby at 6:30 a.m.  For the baby’s sake of course, I had to repeat the song over and over just to see him clap at the end. Now all is quiet and reflection begins.  It’s really the big six-O!  Somewhere in the night my identity has been stolen and here in this chair is a new person!  Early on in life you look forward to sixteen and twenty-one.  Thirty is overwhelming.  Forty just passes by.  Fifty seems to be the year of acknowledgement- I had 50 sheep in the yard and was taken camping and canoeing and everyone came out of the woodwork to wish me well.  Sixty?  All I want is a simple, stress-free, weekend.   The party girl doesn't want to party- she wants to enjoy whatever the moments bring and not be responsible to accomplish a thing!  Last night one of my daughter’s families called to wish me a happy last day of fifty.  My granddaughter said, “You are not old grandma.  You will always be my young blonde grandma.”  Her words inspired the following list I've created today to maintain my identity and send the thief running!

Hair dye

Respond to healthy living tips

Laugh daily

Lighten Up about Everything!

Encourage Others

   Love the Lord with all my heart 

Of course there are volumes of how to books available- just this morning the book “Younger Next Year” was recommended to me.  An avid reader I will probably look for a copy.  But the truth is that I do love birthdays.  I love that I was created and then blessed with a great family.  Surrounded by friends I have never been alone even on my worst day.  A spoiled rotten brat who has new dreams and visions brewing in my future!  Watch out world- I am not fading- just switching into a new gear and truly thankful for life…………..

Just a handful of pennies with grandpa at the horse track was a favorite memory of Mom would explain in detail.  Her grandmother (as I myself would be) was horrified and did not condone this activity shared by the two of them.  But as life sometimes goes it evidently happened on numerous occasions.  According to Mom they spent a lot of time going over what to look for in a winning horse.  It was not surprising when she moved to Louisville over twenty years ago that Derby Day was always fun for her.  She never went to the track.  However she had her newspaper ready with all the details about each horse and the television tuned to the station.  All day she would sit with her paper and mark the horses she thought would win- watch the race- and then give her cocky smile and cheer as every race at least one or more of her choices would win.

Over the years we made the day special for her.  My husband would plan to barbecue and I made several derby hats she would wear all day.  The family would gather, but in the midst of whatever the chaos she would stay steady with her newspaper and watch the races.  Every year we vowed next year we would take her to the track and put real money on her choices, but not being a family given to gambling it just never happened.

As on may occasions this past year my heart stirred with memories of the good times we shared during this time. It was shortly after Derby last year that she passed on.  Early this week I started having the thought that if the name of any of the horses struck a chord that related to her or my thoughts of her that this year I would make a wager.  As the names and stories of the horses came out nothing hit me so I was giving up my “crazy” thought as just another moment of being overwhelmed missing my Mom.

Yesterday I woke up to a rainy derby day and flipped on the local television coverage.  Shortly into the program I heard the name “Golden Soul”.  That’s it I thought.  She is now my golden soul!  I called my daughter and asked her how to place a bet.  She didn't know, but was intrigued by my idea and decided to figure it out.  In the end we placed the bet together just enjoying the moment of how fun Mom would have thought this would be.  I sent a text to a few family and friends about what we had done and then I spent the day cooking with my other daughter.  My husband pulled out the grill and at six in the evening the TV trays were set up and we were all enjoying a lovely meal.

Jim and the grandchildren stood for the singing of “My “Ol Kentucky Home” as the horses headed for the gate.  They were off!  Of course we looked for “Golden Soul” but he was not with the leaders.  Then they rounded the middle turn.  My daughter who placed the bet with me was on her feet.  “He’s coming up Mom! Look!  Look!”  We were all screaming then and cheering him on.  In the last few lengths of the race he took a leading position and crossed the line in second place.  Of the three winning horses that second place paid the most on the dollar of all the horses who placed!  It was a small bet that paid nicely.

What I will do with “my winnings” remains to be decided and will probably fade into the place where memories store up in our brain until triggered by Derby talk in the days to come.  But the sweetness of doing it all just to honor my Mom’s memory and it actually turning out to be a winner will be in the forefront of my thoughts for many days to come.  Thanks Mom for the fun I have and will forever share with you.  I sent a text to my sister-in-law, "We haven’t stopped screaming!"  She texts back, “Neither has Mom!”……….