The uprising is going to be strong sounding like an erupting volcano.  There is simply no other answer and I am going to have to tell them soon.  There will be no home-baked cookies this Christmas.  I cannot imagine it myself, but the third grandchild has arrived and the truth has to be put to the light.  I eat two thirds of what is baked at Christmas- a sweet tooth passed down for several generations.  This year the goal is to have a very merry Christmas without a cookieJ  Grandma got inspired by the staircases and walking in New York City.  There was no choice.  We called it “Boot Camp in New York”.  I am already stronger for it, but here in Kentucky it is a choice and It Is Very Hard To Choose!

 

Can habits change after years of unthinking motion?  My experience is yes, but then I do the backslide and find myself right back into the old pattern.  I really don’t want to backslide this time, but many times before that also has been the case.  I have been visited in variations of the 3 ghosts at Christmas and still just temporary change.  People say it’s because I don’t care about myself or make myself a priority.  I’m really not sure, because the truth is my size and level of physical fitness has never factored in the measurement of my contentment, peace and happiness in life.  Repeated failures surprised me when I finally noticed, but rarely affected my daily state of mind.  Facebook is a great place to crop anything unseemly so the truth doesn’t have to be shown!

Here’s the deal.  A favorite scripture of mine has always been Philippians 4:13. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  Wanting to conquer the physical fitness need has been the problem.  Today I want to be successful in this.  No cookies this year and I will be honest to the core.  If it doesn’t happen, no when it does happen I think I will want to do more…………..somebody tell my husband……………….

We were banished to the kitchen.  It wasn’t her fault- it was mine.  Her favorite new job of doing grandma’s pedicure was disrupted by my knocking the polish bottle out of her hand.  This mishap created a very contemporary coral design on my otherwise beige carpet.  Papa wasn’t happy.  We tried a couple quick fixes including polish remover to no avail.  I will be googling possible answers as the local folks had no remedy.  Later that morning Papa made a comment about it and the sweet girl replied, “A lesson learned by me and grandma.”

 

Accidents happen.  They range from funny to horrific.  Two funny ones come to mind.  Once I was getting up out of my rolling office chair to greet a prospective employee and fell flat on my face in front of her.  The other one was during a very strong mother lecture I was giving one of my girls and she dumped her glass of iced tea on my new white pants.  I didn’t miss a breath- just stood up lecturing and took them off in front of her- still lecturing- went to the sink for emergency soap and cold water- and continued lecturing.  When she began to giggle I looked up and said, “Do you think this is funny?”  The lecture ended…..

In recent years I have experienced repeated head injuries.  First a large bowl fell out of the closet and hit me on the head knocking me out momentarily.  I tried to move a shelf on which a small TV sat and it fell off and hit my head. I’ve tripped several times- most recently over a steel carpet strip someone was removing in a doorway. They left it sticking up part way through the job and upon opening the door my shoe caught it and sent me flying.  The jury is still out concerning the extent of any brain damage that has occurred and my children are threatening to buy me a helmet for Christmas!

 

Then there are the accidents which are really horrific and cause people to suffer physically, emotionally, and often spiritually.  Few of us have not been touched by one in this category.  We find no humor in them.  People walk away without words of comfort in shock themselves.  I thought about people I know this morning who are accident victims.  I had the thought Jesus never had an accident.  I was reminded that on the way to the cross he fell under the weight of all he was carrying.  God had a man right there who though forced, willingly carried the cross for him the rest of the way.  God always has a way to complete our journey.  It may not be easy, but the end of His plan is always good.  Today I will keep my eyes open and by the grace of God not walk away from anyone without offering comfort. I myself have experienced deep empathy and mercy over and over again.  We can only give what we have received……………………..

My car was towed away last night.  The past two years have been challenging times for us.  My husband and I both were stressing out in a circumstance we couldn’t seem to find any answer for. There is everyone and no one to blame.  Did we overspend what our earnings were?  Yes.  Were there events or calamities that caused extra expense?  Yes.  Were our incomes affected by the overall economy?  Yes. Music is always the first to go!  Second is a school cutback in special programs. Thus both our work has been affected.  Thankfully I had been trying to negotiate with the bank to no avail and knew this was going to happen so it wasn’t a shock.

 

When I first got the car it was such a blessing.  A second vehicle made caring for my mom’s needs and spending time with her easier.  Grandchildren time increased.  No longer did we have to rent a car to take trips to see sick relatives and sadly attend several funerals of those very close to us.  The car gave my daughter freedom from stress for a couple months as she adjusted to a full time job after years of law school.  I was free to get a diet Pepsi before I started my piano lessons.  It was borrowed numerous times- I will never forget a young couple in our church took it to a wedding and came back raving about how comfortable they were in my car! Yes a book could be written about life enjoyed in my car.

 

For today the car is history and the consequences are yet to be seen.  I can tell you this. Our financial position has improved and we have solidarity in all other areas we thank God and friends for.  So am I going to let this annoy and torment me? No.  Am I looking for another car?  Yes. (One of those miracle ones that just end up parked in your driveway lol!)   Mom actually enjoys riding in the truck as she enjoys the view from higher up.  She and I getting into the truck may win America’s Funniest Home Videos!    Everything is not always as it seems and I fully expect God to honor Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  He has over and over in the journey of my life……

Many of us have so enjoyed the benefits of facebook- sharing the lives of family through pictures and messages- reconnecting with old friends-and staying connected with the busy friends we have.  Today I read something that caused me to stop and reflect.  Someone whom I had reconnected with shared something about a major trial in her life.  Since reconnecting with her months ago I never would have guessed there had ever been a problem in her life.  It really is no different than seeing people only at church or on the street and generally we are all “fine”.  My daughter insists upon a detailed explanation if I use that word with her!  There is no Utopia- even in Hawaii- everywhere a human stands there is something in their heart.  I have more than one something I meditate about how to fix on a daily basis!

I am definitely not encouraging people to use facebook as a place to vent all their pain.  There is a great deal of “too much information” and unpleasant language as well as just plain meanness that appears on my newsfeed. Today, however, I will consider more carefully what I am seeing for someone in that list of friends whose posts may seem annoying may be carrying a situation in their heart that is too heavy for them.  As in the photo above I may see the bright beautiful colors, but all they see is grey. I have found Hebrews 4:16 “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” to be my answer.  In addition unexpected acts of love always brighten my day and lighten any weights in my heart.  Today I will look for a place to spread some love around……

There is a receipt from Taco Bell dated April 2, 2011 6:00 pm.  It was for a Diet Pepsi and a Mountain Dew for the Bride and Maid of Honor-twin sisters heading for baby sister's special day.  They were scheduled to arrive at the ceremony at 6:00 pm!  Of course there had been a call to delay a little- something about the groom not having socks.  Upon arriving the wind gusted and the sweet flower girl’s petals blew out into the parking lot causing a hundred petal pick up by the bride and bridesmaids.  As everyone was lining up we looked at the banner I had spent several hours making at the brides request and in shock we saw that a letter was missing.  The Pastor’s wife sprinted to the vehicle to find the missing letter.  By now things were quite a bit behind so the bride made the decision just not to use the banner.  This of course horrified the nephew whose job it was to carry it down the isle.  Grandma stepped in and calmly smiled and said to let him carry it- no one would probably even notice it.  So “Here Comes The Bri e” was gallantly carried down the isle.  Of course we found the D right after the ceremony was over.  The really fun parts of life are often unseen- no one inside patiently waiting ever knew any of this!

 

Last week I was making a new poster for our Children’s Church honoring those who memorize the books of the Bible.  Gathering the extra letters from the wedding project I had everything I needed except a B.  I decided to borrow it from the banner which now hangs in my home office.  The next day I took the photo above while laughing- this married couple is about to have their first child- how appropriate is the banner now!  My daughter may decide she wants to keep it after allJ

There is a time and season for everything and it is NOW.  We miss so many special moments caught up in keeping schedules and having chosen responsibilities cause us to be anxious or upset.  We miss NOW when our thoughts are in the past or the future.  Today I choose to pay attention to what is happening around me as I walk, talk, read, eat, and work on my projects of the day.  I expect if I focus on the moment I may notice some petals flying in the wind or a stray letter on the ground.  If perhaps I have crossed the path of a wedding party trying to get into their ceremony I will have enjoyed the pleasure of sharing a moment that made me smile I won’t forget…

It is easy for anyone to see what makes my world go round!  Before the end of the year there will be another little one for me to love and enjoy - I am giddy just thinking about it.  This truth causes an element of jealousy in my life leading to occasional friction. I just can’t help making grandchildren the priority trumping all other requests as much as ninety percent of the time.  For ten years they have been the innocent joy, spontaneous fun, unpredictable words, and sincere and heartfelt hugs in the path of my life.  Without a doubt the old adage is true- It is a lot more fun being the grandma!

All grandmas are not like me and I have been criticized for doing too much (most often by those neglected due to their presence) with the kids.  However, I have found Planet Carol and in finding her there have been both strengths to celebrate and weaknesses to mourn.  What is not there is regret.  In all that my journey has been I wouldn’t trade it for anyone I know!  It reflects strongly my imperfections as equally as my passions.  Since there has been no one on earth perfect since Jesus walked it I feel good about being me.  That is the place I have discovered I need to be in order to be able to deal with issues in my life.  Looking in the mirror of my heart and finding I love that person is the only reason to look in the mirror on the wall and deal with the physical person I see.  Jesus loves me this I know.  What started this blog was not only that I had lost touch with who I am- but also the discovery I no longer loved myself.   It takes years for habits to become ingrained- so unlike my normal self that believes for miracles daily- in this place I know I am looking at doing some time……it’s ok…..that is all there is……………

You haven’t seen anything as horrific as or funnier than me doing a belly flop on a cement floor!  No photos this time!  I was just walking my normal walk and the toe of my sandal caught an upraised metal carpeting door strip and I flew and flopped!  Two friends and my grandson witnessed this flight and were immediately there to help.  After sitting a few minutes and having a sip of water I regained my composure and accessed there was no serious damage.  To my amazement my grandson had the strength to help me up!  Ten minutes later I was delivering a short speech from the platform of our church as we were honoring our pastor whom I have shared friendship with since college.  My daughter said I seemed “different” but no one else noticed a thing!

 

It is always the morning after in these cases.  Accessing myself then I found there was nothing that didn’t hurt!  Though I am fine, there will be more days of walking through the healing process.  Truly this is a perfect example of so many instances in our lives where it goes by so fast- we quickly process- and we run on.  Later we wake up in pain.  It might be the pain of words spoken without thinking that later cause hurt in relationship- doing a job poorly only to have to do it over- not taking time to stop and play with a child only to find him no longer a child in the blink of an eye- Not standing up for someone when they needed you only to watch them suffer when you could have helped.  Just a few of the things that happen to us all in our busy traffic patterns every day and yet we don’t change.  In the same way that my children want to buy me a helmet (this was not the first fall) I believe God would like to place speed bumps on these roads we race down to prevent us from missing so much.  His speed bumps are not sickness or trips to hurt us, but rather an urging of the Holy Spirit within us so strong we can’t ignore it is there, but we can choose to ignore to respond to it and miss a blessing.  Distraction is the main reason we miss these urgings in our heart.  In work or play I want to stay focused to hear His voice………..